Something Like That
by GrimmZ
Summary: It is a romantic ninja play and no one is really sure what it's about, when the leading lad and lady fall ill it is up to poor Temari and an unwilling Shikamaru to save the day. [T for language]ShikaTema
1. Finding a Romeo

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part I**

"**How it began" **

Shikamaru shook his head. "Pardon?"

"You're the only other person who can memorize the lines in time," Chouji said, "The play is going to be awful if I have to do it, I cant remember anything, and Shino is out of it, there's no way he can play the lead!"

Shikamaru shook his head. It was too bad Naruto was off training with that perverted sennin, he'd probably have jumped for the opportunity to be the center of attention.

Shikarmaru on the other hand . . . just folded his arms and said "It's too troublesome."

"What was that?" Ino, the mastermind behind this insane play demanded. "Are you dooming my artistic dream?"

"Your dream is more like a nightmare. I'm not getting out there and spouting lines in front of a troublesome audience so I can pretend I'm some troublesome stalker trying to get with some troublesome rich girl." Shikamaru said. "I'm the stage hand; I just open and close the curtains."

"You're not doing that either, you were napping." Chouji pointed out.

"Playing with curtains is troublesome." Shikamaru said.

"Yeah well while you were asleep Shino finally got here and he's down with a cold, or whatever it is that living bee hives catch, he cant play the lead and the first scene is about to start!"

"Let Chouji here do it, he can wing it all he's good like that." Shikamaru said, patting his best friend on the shoulder.

"Nobody wants to see me up there!" Chouji cried.

"C'mon Shikamaru, don't you know who's playing the leading lady?"

"Sakura. I didn't sleep through _all_ of your rehearsals." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Yeah well billboard brow can't make it she's made up some lame excuse, pneumonia or something. Our new leading lady, the girl you'll be kissing, is Temari."

Shikamaru stared at Ino for a moment, when she didn't seem like she would say any more he said ". . . so?"

"So?"

"So what . . ."

"So what? You two are so . . . _friendly_, don't you like her?" Ino demanded.

"No." Shikamaru said frankly.

"Oh fuck me!" Ino cried.

"I don't want to do that either." Shikamaru pointed out, Chouji snickered.

"That's not what I—get your head out of the gutter you—just play the part or I'll make you dead!" Ino cried.

"So Temari memorized all the lines then?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well no she's . . . winging it. I needed a girl, Neji wouldn't dress the drag—almost killed me for asking—Hinata won't stop blushing and Tenten was too ticked off at me for asking Neji before her and Temari . . ."

_Flashback_

"I'm not playing this Julia; she's a total nut case! To think, killing her father and taking his throne!" Tenten said.

"That's a different play . . . I think." Ino corrected.

"Oh . . . what the heck are we doing?"

"Ramón and Julia, the tragic ninja love story of two lovers from different villages who—"

"If they're from different villages, ask those sand ninjas over there!" Tenten suggested.

"Hey! Yeah! I _think_ one of them is a girl!"

Ino ran up to the sand siblings, "Hey! We're holding a play, any interest in being in it?"

"Oh no it's one of the locals . . ." Kankuro said.

"It's this story about two ninja lovers from different villages, so you'd be perfect!" She said to the most feminine looking one, patting her chest to make sure she was indeed female, not forgetting her near death experience with Neji.

"Uh, can you please not do that?" Temari asked.

"Tell us more about this play."

"Gaara!" Temari scolded.

"What? I'm trying to be nice."

"Well I guess we won't punish you for _that. _Okay, tell us about the play."

"Well there's this young woman named Julia, fairest in the land,"

"And I'm playing her right?" Temari cut in.

"Her village is at war with the village of our hero Ramón, they—"

"Pretend to be lovers while extracting information from one another in those stolen moments of intimacy, leading up to their eventual murder of one another, dying in each other's arms they finally confess their true love, and realize that they should have cherished each other instead of just 'pumping' one another for information too late for it to matter?" Temari offered.

"No . . . not at all." Ino said, but that sounded good.

"Then where's the realism?" Kankuro asked.

"Well anyway their villages are at war and they meet on the battlefield, it is love at first sight, they begin a secret relationship, but when their comrades find out it leads to a bloody conflict over them, even until Julia's brother . . . uh, let's go with brother_s_ and Ramón's team end up locked in mortal combat!"

"So if Temari-chan does this we get to beat up some leaf shinobi?" Kankuro asked.

"Uh . . . yeah. Pretty much." Ino nodded.

"All right! Temari you're doing this!" Kankuro cried.

"It'll be fun." Gaara offered.

"Oh screw that, selling your sister off like a slave to some Ramón person just so you can have a little fun? How physical are these scenes going to be? I mean some lusty looks here and there and a hand shake at the end right? There's no way I'm doing this, it's all too fishy!" Temari protested and the siblings walked off arguing.

_End Flashback_

"She was really excited about it." Ino said, and Shikamaru knew she was lying.

"Why can't Neji play the part? He's better looking than I am."

"A sock is better looking than you are, but you'll know the lines, Neji wont memorize them in time, Temari is going to need someone to work off of who knows what they're doing, she hasn't got a clue what this story is about . . . trust me."

"You could play Julia and let Chouji bounce lines off you." Shikamaru pointed out.

"These lips are only kissing Sasuke, nobody else, least of all Chouji or you, you got that? Besides, it would defile my vision if I were forced to die in the end."

"Psh. How t—"

"Don't say it." Ino warned.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru finished defiantly.

She stormed off, Shikamaru sighed as Chouji threw a bright purple cape over his shoulders, "You look so dashing." Chouji said.

"What a bother, dressing up like some kind of pimp just to harass some girl outside her window."

"Yeah well the play must go on, so lets get started!"

Shikamaru sighed, that was how it had all begun.

**More to Come . . .**

**Writer's Note: **This story is unlike any of my others because unlike any of my other works it is entirely review propelled. Since I first began writing Fan Fiction the number of reviews never mattered to me, I get lots of hits and that's good enough. But just for fun lets see how many of you hitters can become reviewers when properly motivated, so no updates unless I see some reviews, and flames count too so if you're out to trash on this story keep in mind that doing so only gives it prolonged life, and allows me to laugh at you for having nothing better to do.

Cheers!


	2. The Play Begins

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part II**

**Ramón and Julia (Act 1)**

Temari yawned as she looked at herself in the mirror, holding the Julia costume over herself. "A _real_ Shinobi would never wear this." She commented on her extravagant dress, but the lights dimmed and suddenly there was narration provided by Ino . . .

"A long time ago, in the lands of Myth and Fantasy—"

"There _is_ no village of Myth!" Someone shouted.

The narrator continued, _barely_ acknowledging the outburst, "Shaddap Kiba, don't make me come down there, I'll get you _myself_ and you won't have to wait for your dramatic death scene! Uh, I mean a long time ago two villages were at war! Many battles were fought, and many brave Shinobi were lost . . . I said many battles were fought . . . what the heck are you idiots doing?" Ino screamed.

A little reluctantly the two "armies" came out to the stage and began fighting . . . poorly. The most enthusiastic was Rock Lee, whose fists of fury were carefully avoided by the less zealous actors.

"Come, I shall destroy you all!" Rock Lee cried, "For I, the great Ramón will—"

"Damn it Lee I told you you're not playing Ramón!" Ino cried.

"Why not?" That crybaby Shikamaru demanded, "He's perfect!"

"Eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows!" Ino cried, and Temari agreed. Those things were so freaky . . . there was no way she'd pretend to be in love with Lee.

So who was playing Ramón? She hoped it was that Neji kid, he was pretty good looking . . . except he was currently on the side of the "fantasy" nin along with her brothers and Kiba, so . . .

"What are you all—did you _read _the script! Why are you wearing—oh never mind!"

That comment was probably directed at the fact that like Temari nobody had put on their tights except Lee, they were just dressed regularly. Some of them accessorized, Tenten wore a pretty gold tiara, and Shikamaru was wearing a queer little purple cape, and wisely perhaps, Chouji had taken one of the prop swords, which he used to fend off one of Kankuro's puppets.

Ino sighed resignedly and said "Alas, but where upon the battlefield is our brave Julia?"

Temari just stood on the side lines and scoffed. "Forget that, let those losers beat each other senseless."

"Get out there before you ruin the play!" Ino cried into her ear with the microphone.

Temari shuddered and stumbled onto the 'battlefield' and was immediately beset by Lee.

"Beautiful Julia, I Ramón have come for your hand—hey you're not Sakura-chan!"

"Caught that?" Temari asked, annoyed.

"And _you're _not Ramón!" Ino cried, throwing the microphone at him, and snapping it back to her hand with the cord.

"Ouch! Very well, I concede the role to Shikamaru!"

"You can't call him that; you have to call him Ramón!" Chouji said.

"Aw man, he's Ramón?" Temari pouted.

"He's the only one who could remember the lines in time and . . . okay, where the heck did he go?" Ino demanded.

The audience went into an uproar, Temari bowed and Ino ran out onto the stage, waving her arms and crying for the curtains to close.

Ino shook her head, "Okay, everyone get off the stage, Hinata! Hinata! Get those props set in place!"

"B-but I don't like having to be the props!" Hinata said.

"Hey, you want to stay you're gonna work!" Ino cried.

"I don't want to stay, you're forcing—"

"Get the props!" Ino cried.

Hinata created some clones (two) and the three of them went onto the 'battlefield' and played dead.

Ino hurried everyone else off the stage, "Find Shikamaru!" She cried, "Temari, you stay here and pretend to be inspecting the bodies!"

"Uh . . . okay." Temari complied.

The curtains drew back again, Ino returned to her role as narrator, "After the bloody battle, our heroin Julia inspects the dead, searching for survivors from her village's ever shrinking ranks . . . our hero Ramón . . . I _said_ our hero Ramón . . ."

"Found him!" Neji called, shoving Shikamaru on stage. "He was asleep behind the stage!"

"Sleeping?" Temari whispered, "When did you become narcoleptic?"

"I was bored, this is so annoying." Shikamaru whispered back.

"_Ahem, _our hero Ramón happens upon her on the battle field—"

"Oh right, were enemies! Let's fight!" Temari cried, leaping into the air and landing right in front of Shikamaru, she drew her fist back to punch him but she froze.

Stupid shadow control jutsu!

"Yeah . . . ahem. Never before have I looked upon such a fair lady. Prithee what is tine name?" Shikamaru said with no enthusiasm.

Temari blinked—or tried to and failed—and whispered "You know my name, and are you hitting on me in front of all these people?"

"The play." Shikamaru explained in a whisper.

"Oh right!" Temari nodded—or tried to and failed, her mouth seemed to be the only thing she could move. "Uh . . . yeah. Well I'm hot stuff, that's common knowledge. I am Julia of Myth—"

"Fantasy." Shikamaru whispered.

"Right, Fantasy."

"And what brings thee beauty to this battlefield so bloody?"

Temari had an idea, "Release me from this jutsu and I'll show you."

Shikamaru shrugged—so did Temari, but not of her own will—and then she was free.

She knelt down besides Hinata number two. "Oh my gentle, sweet sister. Wimpy, I knew her well . . . we were sisters all of her life and most of mine. Now she's dead. Except for her hair."

Temari's hand shot out and she tickled Hinata, who began to giggle, and then laugh, she leapt up and tried to escape Temari's tickles.

The crowd laughed, Ino cried "Uh, hey uh . . . and of course Julia is an incredible Medical Nin."

The crowd applauded lamely as Hinata and her clones disappeared.

"Uh . . . okay . . . well in search of Julia, her brother . . . uh _brothers_ and his—_their_ team close in on Ramón, he must flee, but not before Julia asks to see him again."

"I don't want to see you again!" Temari cried, "You're my enemy, I will destroy you!"

Shikamaru shook his head, "Troublesome woman." He sighed.

She'd said all that just to hear him say that. "Well in that case how's about five at my place?"

Shikamaru sighed, "Beauteous maiden, by your window shall I stand when the moon shines full."

"I said five horn dog!" Temari cried.

Shikamaru just shook his head and turned and walked off. The curtains closed and Ino came rushing towards her, "That was good; your lack of effort is obvious!"

"Well if you'd give me a script—"

"Oh . . . well there's no time now, just remember that you're supposed to be in love with Ramón!"

"I thought the relationship should move slowly, resist him a bit, you know? So he doesn't think I'm easy." Temari said.

"You're not you, you're Julia." Ino pointed out. "Julia is really easy."

Temari's eyes narrowed. "There's a sex scene isn't there?" She accused.

Ino became very busy with a stack of blank papers, "Sorry, no time now, have to get ready for the next act, get into position, its almost time for the window scene!"

**More to Come . . .**

**Writer's Note:** Well I told you I'd update as reviews came, so here's your reward you five wonderful reviewers and thanks for the "vote of confidence" Cass (Sun-Tzu), I promise to screw up with all my might just for you. And for your information, you troublesome woman, joining the ranks of ShikaTema devotees is actually very different than working on Ranma 1/2 stories. Unlike NabiRyo, ShikaTema actually still has a slight chance of happening, I could be wrong but I don't think it's actually been officially decided yet. Unlike Nabiki and Ryoga they actually acknowledge one another and share some moments that could be viewed as a typical teenage romance, in other words I've traded a dead horse for a living one that's easier to ride.

Now the idea to do this as a play actually came to me as I was arguing with someone (right Sun-Tzu?) about the possibility of ShikaTema over ShikaIno. We ended up comparing them to Romeo and Juliet and she said "Well write a fan fiction like that, I promise you wont get any reviews" so I did, and cheated by requesting reviews for once. (Incidentally even she reviewed) So really, if you like this story thank Sun-Tzu for making me write it, I was going to just keep my fingers crossed for the couple and stay out of it all but our conversation moved me to write this story's first three chapters and I'm working on the fourth.

Now it's not that I've never read Romeo and Juliet (well actually . . .), or that I haven't seen that movie where they run around in cars and shooting at each other, the reason this is so far from it is that I refuse to adhere strictly to that story, Ramón and Julia (Wish I'd bothered to think up Japanese names, but I wanted the Romeo and Juliet thing to be as obvious as possible) is very loosely based on it, it's a ninja tale and someday I might tackle it seriously . . . but I doubt it.

The window scene is just . . . well, basic spoof material, not to mention it ended up being my favorite chapter so far so review if you want to see it.

Yes Cass (Sun-Tzu), I'm cheating.

It feels _good_.

Cheers!


	3. Time to Rhyme

**Disclaimer: **Rated T for some course language, and suggestive scenes.

**Writer's Note 1: **Here the story really earns its T rating as some of the things Temari and Shikamaru say to each other during the balcony scene are rather suggestive. I was going to put this up tomorrow, but with all of you reviewing I figured I wouldnt make you wait, so here you go!

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part III**

**Scene Prep**

"Okay, that wasn't bad for the beginning," Ino said.

"That was terrible." Neji scoffed.

"I'm feeling no motivation whatsoever." Shikamaru pointed out.

"When _do_ you actually feel motivated?" Chouji asked.

"I'm just reminding her is all." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Well all right, that _was_ awful, they even _laughed_ at us, but that's not going to deter us, all right? So lets make my—I mean our—oh who am I kidding, _my_ vision a reality! Lets show them that we are all capable actors who can properly play out the story of Ramón and Julia!"

"How did she talk us into this again?" Tenten asked.

"Well _I_ wanted to kiss Sakura-chan; I am not sure what I am still doing here." Lee said.

"What? You're the most enthusiastic of the group, stick with it!" Ino cried.

"You're right I—" Lee began, but Ino cut him off.

"Great! Perfect! Now anyway Temari you're really bad out there."

"What's that?" Temari demanded.

"You're not talking like Julia." Ino said, not backing down from the annoyed sand ninja.

"A script might help; I don't know anything about Julia!" Temari said.

"Okay, she loves Ramón but is duty bound to her family, in this upcoming scene she converses with Ramón from her window, she's basically battling her lust for him but eventually she invites him to come up. Shikamaru will say the actual lines, you just—where did he go?"

Shikamaru raised his hand, "Beyond all reason, I'm still here . . . though it's troublesome."

"You just say that to annoy me, don't you?" Ino demanded.

". . . Yes."

"Well stop it! Temari, try to respond positively to everything Shikamaru says, okay?"

"I guess." Temari sighed.

"And try to rhyme!" Kiba added.

"What? Why?" Ino demanded. Shikamaru wanted to know the reasoning behind Kiba's line of thought too, but didn't care enough to ask.

"Because it'll sound more poetic." Kiba said.

"Say, that's good! Okay, you heard the man, rhyme Temari!"

"Does it bother anyone else that our fighting scene was one sided?" Tenten asked suddenly.

"What?" Lee asked.

"Lets examine the teams here, Chouji, myself, Lee and Shikamaru are on Myth team, and Neji, Gaara, Kankuro and Kiba are on Fantasy, doesn't that seem imbalanced to anyone?"

"No." Gaara said.

"You're still alive." Kankuro pointed out.

"Well I had to keep Temari's brothers together, I thought you'd want to be on the same team as Neji, Tenten, but I didn't want you to have to be too close to Temari since I thought . . . y'know, you might have some issues."

"Issues? What issues? I've got no problem with Tem—" Tenten was saying until Temari whipped out a little paper fan and lightly fanned herself with it. "Shit! _Shit_! Keep that bitch away from me!" Tenten cried, leaping behind Lee.

Shikamaru sighed as Temari smirked. Did she _have_ to make things even worse?

She was almost as cruel as she was pretty—hey wait, did he just think that?

Bah, never mind. On with the show.

**Act II (The Balcony)**

Shikamaru sighed as Ino narrated, "And so, later that night our hero Ramón journeys to the village of Fantasy to see his lady love, Julia . . . he comes to her balcony, and calls up to her, and how shall she answer?"

Shikamaru took a deep breath. "What glow from far window gleams, is it not Julia who shines like the sun?"

"Hey, Ramón honey!" Temari cried, waving at him.

Shikamaru blushed and said, "Eh, uh I . . . have traveled far to see thee here in thine home, behind enemy lines have I come for thee fair maiden."

Temari tapped her chin and said and then pounded her fist into her palm as if she'd just thought of something, "Got it! Ahem . . ." She took a deep breath and called down, "Hey Ramón my dear, c'mon up here for some beer! My dad's not home so we can party all night, but when my brothers get back you're in for a fight!"

_Nice rhymes, but otherwise . . ._ Shikamaru thought. His next line wouldn't make sense with what she'd just said, a major flaw in Ino's idiotic, annoying plan. So, though it was bothersome he improvised "I uh . . . I am afraid my sweet that lest I retreat thine brothers shall rend me asunder." Shikamaru shrugged and sat on a prop rock, too unmotivated to hold his hand over his heart and go down on one knee. "But while I am here, just toss down the beer, and I shall tell my captain it's plunder."

"What the hell are you two doing?" Ino demanded, "That's not the script Shi—Ramón! Tem—Julia, you're supposed to be under age!"

Temari rolled her eyes, "Pray tell me Ramón, why not use a phone? Why comest though all this way hence? Stay or flee now my love: come to me up above, or make some mad tracks for that fence." She pointed at some imaginary fence, then leaned over the balcony towards him, "Because I'm not going to clown, not in _this_ night gown, I'm freezing and that's not a joke. I hope you have cash, or I'm dumping your ass, for I do not date guys who are broke."

"Julia is not a prostitute!" Ino screamed. "End the scene! End the scene!"

Shikamaru sighed, ignored the fact that Temari looked really hot in the Julia night gown and said "My love I must say, though I should not stay, as it pains me indeed to admit; My life matters not, and since you're so hot, I'll climb up and hang for a bit."

"Well don't get any ideas just because I'm alone, and beautiful and sexy and great fun to bone; I've a brain of morals beneath these blond whirls, and I'm not a whore like those _other_ girls . . . unless you get me a _really_ nice ring, gold with a diamond, you know that kind of thing? Or maybe a necklace all strung up with pearls. Then I guess with you I'd be loose, like those _other_ girls."

"If you two have sex on my stage," Ino roared in a rage, "I'll . . . I'll . . . I don't know what I'll do, but it sure will hurt you!"

Shikamaru sighed as he lazily made an attempt at climbing up to the window. There were "invisible" stairs but he didn't care enough to walk up all of them and just kind of sat down to rest midway, "Pearls have I none, but I've got a cinnamon bun, and it can be yours if you wish."

"Darling, pastries are great, but I'm watching my weight, I'd never put out for that dish." Temari countered.

"I'm killing you both!" Ino cried. "Stay right where you are, I'm coming over there!"

"My love methinks fate, is getting rather irate, with this slaughter of a classical play." Shikamaru said.

"So come up to me, and we'll forgo the fee, hide from fate and call it a day!" Temari offered.

The enraged Ino rushing towards Shikamaru suddenly gave him the motivation he needed to finish climbing the stairs.

**More To Come . . .**

I love this chapter, I hope all of you will too. I rather enjoy the medic nija part myself, and Lee's costume disturbed Gaara and Kankuro too much for them to give the battle their all, plus they were trying not to kill anyone. Anyway to that certain special someone, I don't think you and me will have a problem since I never "right" new chapters, I write them. And you'll be ripping my balls "of" what? Great balls of fire? Don't have those, buddy. LOL! Anyway just for you, my many reviewers the next chapter, how'd you like it? Let me know, I'm really rather pleased with it though some of the rhymes could have been better. Chapter 4 will rock your socks, so keep on reviewing!


	4. Everyone Else is Doing It

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part IV **

**Act III-a (The Epic Flight)**

Temari grabbed Shikamaru's hand and pulled him up onto the balcony. "Now look here Ms. Fate, don't you ruin our date, we're only doing what you asked!"

"Hey get with the times and forget the damn rhymes, we need to run really fast!" Shikamaru said, grabbing her wrist.

"Ooh, how assertive!" Temari teased as Shikamaru led her down the stairs of her balcony. Seemed kind of silly he'd gone through the trouble of rushing up to meet her only to drag her back down the other way to avoid the very angry narrator.

"Y'know _Ramón_ I can handle her, no sweat! Don't worry, I'll protect you." Temari teased.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of! It's troublesome but if you kill Ino your little brother Gaara might get set off and he'd kill everyone else, and if that's not enough your other brother Kankuro might just pick _me_ off so he isn't left out of the bloody fun!"

"Oh Gaara isn't _that_ bad . . . anymore!" Temari protested, but she knew what Shikamaru was getting at and decided not to argue the matter, or try her luck with Gaara's natural blood lust over his new and improved niceness.

So Ramón and Julia fled from fate, which totally screwed up their date, but at least they still had their skin.

Wait why am _I_ rhyming? This is unfortunate timing, the next scene's about to begin!

**Scene Prep**

Ino took a deep breath, "Okay. Okay. The show must go on . . . and I _admit_ I did say that Julia was fighting her lust, but maybe that wasn't the right choice of words . . . Julia is a chaste young lady, do you understand that? _Can_ you understand that?"

"Are you trying to say something about me?" Temari raised her eyebrows.

"I'm amazed at how easily you thought up perverted rhymes." Ino said, clapping mockingly. "And you Shikamaru, encouraging her?"

"I can't help it, Temari doesn't know the lines or the story, I throw the lines at her but she just does her own thing." Shikamaru said.

"Don't pin this one me, it was Kiba who said I should try to rhyme!" Temari protested.

Shikamaru hadn't meant to blame her, he didn't mean what he'd said in a bad way, the rhyming game had been kind of fun. Games were one of the few things that motivated Shikamaru; it'd enabled him to work through the scene without wanting to go to sleep.

"Ino, I suggest you retire me from the role of Ramón and give it to Chouji." He said, "I have no motivation to continue this."

"What?" Temari demanded, "Look here you crybaby, I ought to be motivation enough!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kankuro grinned.

"Yeah, what's it matter to you if I let Chouji play Ramón?" Ino raised an eyebrow.

"What? Oh . . . nothing." Temari shrugged, "I just think it'd be kind of awkward, changing our Ramón in the middle of the play."

Shikamaru said "I'm not motivated enough to care about how awkward this play gets. You're all so annoying."

"And just think of how annoying I'll be if you don't do what I say!" Ino cried.

"I'll help her!" Chouji added with a smirk.

"What? Betrayed by my own best friend?" Shikamaru complained, "What's it matter to you if I don't want to be Ramón?"

"It wouldn't if you'd stop trying to throw the role on me." Chouji admitted.

"Fine. Lee, it's all you." Shikamaru said.

"Forget it! I wanted the role so I could kiss Sakura-chan; I remain only because I believe in enduring hard work to the end!"

Shikamaru sighed. "I don't care enough to argue any more. Let's just get this over with." He said, and he walked off.

Temari smirked, "He can't even motivate himself to quit."

"Oh I bet he just doesn't want to do the next scene." Ino said.

"Why? What's up with the next scene?" Temari demanded. "It's a sex scene, isn't it?"

"What? Oh no . . . well . . . uh . . . places everyone! Places!" Ino cried, waving her script in the air and shooing everyone to their place, Temari made a desperate attempt at the fabled script, but she failed.

On with the show . . .

**Act III-b (The Epic Fight!)**

Shikamaru had to wonder how he got himself into these bothersome situations.

In an imaginary village where the three Hinatas were playing the role of baker, black smith and . . . for some reason, clown, he stood on with Chouji, Lee and Tenten, his "team" and pretended to be assaulted by Ino's loud voice as she returned to her role as narrator.

"The Ramón team of the Hidden Village of Myth gathers after Ramón's intelligence gathering mission, and they note the change in his countenance . . . pst, Shikamaru, try to look more cheerful!"

Shikamaru scoffed and made no such attempt. "Hark friends, for news have I gathered last eve beneath the moon in the enemy's land!"

"Well then tell us quick, so we can talk about that chick, the one I saw holding your hand!" Tenten said.

"Could it perhaps be the maiden that we beheld?" Lee asked.

"The one whose sister, Wimpy, I so bravely felled?" Chouji asked.

"Wait, you guys are—" Shikamaru groaned.

"Your rhymes from the scene before, seemed so much fun." Chouji said.

"This is our last scene, and then we're all done." Tenten nodded.

"So let us three say just a few quick versus," Lee added.

"Oh fuck it, you all get my personal curses!" Ino screamed in her microphone.

"You see even fate is going to rhyme." Chouji said.

"This play would be fun if we did this the whole time." Lee said.

Shikamaru shook his head, "I shake my head, and wish I were dead, even rhyming that scene really sucked."

"Well I'm glad that you're sad, because I'm really mad, and now that I'm here you're all fucked!" Kankuro called.

"Tracked you we did, you meddlesome kid, from our sister's balcony where; we knew you had been, for you can't hide your sin, we discovered a strand of your hair!" Gaara added.

"We know Julia's really tough, she's got the right ninja stuff, but as brothers we cannot stand by," Kankuro said.

"While our sister acts like a whore with a myth village bore, so for that you're going to die." Gaara nodded.

Shikamaru groaned, he'd been dreading this scene. The fight between his team and Gaara's.

"Now wait just a minute, you think you can pin it, on Ramón if your sister's a tramp?" Chouji asked.

"Well I recall the day, that he whisked _me_ away, while we were at a summer camp." Tenten pointed out.

"Now that I never did, so surely you kid, or you're thinking of Lee over there!" Shikamaru cried.

"T'is true, it was me, the handsome Rock Lee, but at least I treated you fair." Lee said.

"Ramón and Julia are the only couple here so that's enough with your little games! And for crying out loud you all have your roles so why are you using your real names?"

"Hey let's focus here, you're ignoring I fear, the fact that you're all going to die," Neji said.

"Why should we all pay, for Julia's one night of play, with this single, no good lazy guy?" Chouji asked.

Kiba nodded, "That one there has a point, is not like _you_ snuck in our joint, it's just this guy over here."

"And he's got to die, that meddlesome guy, for drinking my very last beer!" Kankuro cried.

"Betrayed by my crew, I'll still fight with you, and you all are going to go down! Don't think me a quitter, for I've a pitch hitter, this ninja dressed up like a clown!" Shikamaru said, grabbing Hinata's clown clone.

"Oh no, oh my gosh, he's got the boss, let's get the heck out of here quick!" Hinata 2 said to Hinata 3.

"A ninja renown, disguised as a clown, how did they figure out our sly trick?" Hinata 3 gasped.

"No, no I'm a clown, with a great big red frown, and please don't hurt me I plead!"

"It is just a feint, for a ninja she aint, but still let's see how much she can bleed!" Kiba said.

Faintly Ino was heard mumbling "Screw you guys . . . hate . . . you guys."

"Thanks a lot Ramón, but I won't die alone," Hinata said, grabbing Shikamaru by the collar of his shirt, "I'm taking your lazy ass with me!"

"It was just a joke, but if you weren't such a slow poke, we might just be able to flee." Shikamaru said.

"No just hold him there, we'll kill us a pair, and get home in time for lunch!" Neji said.

"Now wait just a minute, I want those other three in it, instead of two let's kill the whole bunch!" Gaara said.

"Well Ramón thanks a lot, I know she was hot, but you've gone and gotten all of us killed!" Tenten complained.

"Oh come on now guys, maybe we'll be surprised and they won't be all that skilled!" Shikamaru cried.

"Oh shove it Ramón, I don't like your tone, her brothers will cream us all right?" Tenten said.

"Come now my friend, this is not the end, we have not yet begun to fight!" Lee said with a brave pose.

**More To Come . . .**

Yeah, it's amazing what Kiba can come up with, whether or not people listen is up to them. I kept the rhyming around for one more chapter . . . because I felt like it . . . there's a "wee bit" in the next chapter too, but after that it'll start to fade away. Ino has made her feelings known in chapter 1, she will kiss only Sasuke. I like thischapter a little better than chapter 3 which I did not think was going to be possible.Yes Tenten's fear of Temari is justified, I mean ouch. Really, ouch! But she's still able to walk, so good for her. At the end of Chapter 5 Temari won't be able to make that same boast, so review if you guys want to find out why!


	5. Screw You Guys!

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part V**

**Act IV (Screw you guys . . . hate . . . you guys (a forgotten script)**

Gaara rushed in first, unable to contain his lust for combat any longer.

Shikamaru thought hard for a strategy that would help him out, the best he could come up with in that split second was shoving Hinata into Gaara.

Now even in this split second he had time to convince himself she wouldn't be killed, that Gaara was just playing, apologize mentally to her for the necessity, make peace with himself for the evil he was about to commit, aim her, double check his aim, triple check, think maybe it wasn't a good idea, and then shove her forward anyway with all his might.

Her head slammed into Gaara's, and she went down. Gaara didn't, but he seemed surprised and that let Shikamaru leap back and go after the weakest member of Gaara's team, Kiba.

He drew his prop blade—he wondered if it were another of Hinata's clones transformed—and shouted "Draw steel, you rotten old eel, and face me man to man!"

"Man to man, not a chance, behind you take a glance, you've forgotten the skills of my clan!"

Shikamaru leapt to the side, anticipating an enemy attack, and he was just barely able to get out of the way in time as Akamaru charged in to where he'd just been.

Damn that dog was getting big!

Shikamaru spun his prop sword in his hand and brought it up in time to block a thrust made by Neji. Chouji rushed in then and said "Fear not my friend, for if this is my end, I shall die by your side fighting like a man!"

"What a touching display, are you sure you're not gay? Well either way your death is all part of the plan!" Neji cried, lunging forward and "stabbing" Chouji, who gasped and fell to his knees.

"And all fades to black, _man_ I should have dodged that attack, alas my life it does fade . . ."

"We've got them out numbered, man have they blundered, in letting their friend here get laid!" Kiba said.

"Not a thing did occur, why don't you just ask her? As a guest I behaved very well!" Shikamaru protested.

"We don't really care, what you did while you were there, we're still sending you straight to hell!" Gaara said.

Gaara rushed on again, not really bothering with his prop sword, Shikamaru leapt up to avoid him only to find Kankuro's Black Ant puppet waiting for him in the air!

Its arms reached out for him, he spun and carefully kicked off from the puppet, avoiding its grasp by millimeters, and propelled himself towards Kankuro!

The puppet master's second puppet however intercepted Shikamaru, as he'd expected it would, he slammed into the puppet and used _it_ to kick off and propel himself towards Kiba who'd set his sights on Tenten!

Shikamaru slammed into Kiba, knocking him into Akamaru, and knocking both of them out (this story contains no cruelty to animals . . . Akamaru had a stunt double!)

The dazed Chunin rolled as he hit the ground and came up on his feet in time to see Gaara coming at him.

Damn it where did Gaara get off being this fast?

Shikamaru had guessed that Kankuro would be the one to reach him next, not Gaara.

But he'd have been doomed even if it were Neji!

He held up his pathetic little sword and to his surprise it worked.

That is Gaara fell over and groaned. "My blood now flows free, alas brother avenge me . . ."

Shikamaru blinked and whispered to Gaara, "You're not supposed to die . . ."

Gaara opened one eye and whispered ". . . that makes this really awkward."

"What the heck are you idiots doing? Are you fighting for real or what?" Ino screamed.

"We never did any choreography, so don't you get mad at me! If this were real we'd let you know! " Lee said.

"All we can do, is try not to ruin things for you, so just shut up now, Ino!" Neji panted.

"Yeah, hey enough with the rhyming already!" Ino screamed.

"Stop right there, you're not being fair, having a fight without me? For leaving me out, I'm going to pout, and make you all say you're sorry!" Temari cried, standing atop one of the set buildings, Shikamaru wondered how it was holding her, given that it was made of very cheap, weak wood.

"Dear sister can't you see, they've slain sibling number three, and vengeance must now be ours!" Kankuro said.

Shikamaru helped Gaara up, who dusted himself off. "Sibling number three doesn't look dead to me; he's as tough as a bull!" Shikamaru said.

"I did trip indeed, but now what I need, is to rip out your boyfriend's skull!" Gaara cried, jabbing at Shikamaru with his prop sword, the other boy leapt back avoiding a premature death, then wondering why he'd bothered.

"I'm not supposed to die yet!" Shikamaru groaned.

"Oh . . . well since I wasn't supposed to die I just assumed . . ." Gaara explained.

Temari shook her head and held a sword in each hand, "Now that I'm here, it seems pretty clear, that I cannot do without one or the other, but who do I choose, who can I stand to loose? My brothers or my lazy ass lover?"

Shikamaru's eye twitched, he was beginning to think the "lazy" remarks were aimed at him directly, Ramón wasn't lazy . . . the guy had gone out of his way to hit on a girl from another village, Shikamaru had never tried a long distance relationship and he didn't want to . . . it'd be too troublesome.

Of course he _was_ playing him in a lazy, unenthusiastic manner.

"So you admit that he's you're lover, did he at least remember to wear a rubber? I don't want to be an uncle just yet!" Kankuro scoffed.

"Watch your mouth you dope, or it'll be washed out with soap, that I can thrash you is still a safe bet!" Temari scoffed.

"Sister dear, to us it is clear, you're siding with our enemy." Gaara said.

"Which makes you a traitor, instead of a Myth hater, if only father were here to see!" Kankuro groaned, a dramatic arm held over his head while his puppets were thoroughly thrashed and dismantled by Lee.

"Enough with the rhymes, I've told you too many times, just get on with the stinking play!" Ino screamed, "The audience is in stitches, and you're all grade A sons of bitches, hurry up now I don't have all day!"

"Fight on we shall, to save Ramón our pal, but death is not something I hope for!" Tenten said.

"Nay, nor do I, Ramón you're a nice guy, but next time warn us before you score!" Lee said.

"He didn't touch a thing, do you see any ring? My finger is pretty bare. We spent the whole night, running in fright, from that loud mouthed narrator right there!" Temari said, pointing at Ino who was stomping onto the stage bedecked in heavy samurai armor, holding two swords that didn't look very fake, she had a naginata, bow and arrows strapped to her back, her eyes were blank white orbs of anger and she breathed heavily as she forced herself towards them.

"Oh crap she's mad!" Shikamaru said.

"Well this sure looks bad." Lee agreed.

"With all these dumb rhymes this play was ruined since the start of act one!" Ino cried.

"That may well be, but gee, can't a girl, have a wee bit o' fun?" Temari scoffed.

"No, not on my watch! Now no one's going to rhyme with me, my last word is Zebra!" Ino cried.

"Hey Kankuro, isn't that girl you have a crush on a Libra?" Gaara asked.

"You're all sons of bitches!" Ino screamed.

"I think Hinata needs stitches!" Lee cried, clapping at the new fun "piss off Ino" game.

"I want you all to die!" Ino said.

"He-he, we're making her cry!" Kiba teased.

"Well . . . well now I feel kind of bad, for making her so sad, c'mon guys we _are_ being cruel." Tenten said.

"Oh all right, we'll get on with the fight, this play _does_ beat being in school." Neji said.

"Let's just end the scene, and stop being so mean, to this girl who has only a dream." Temari said.

"Say what you will, I say she just needs to chill, she's done nothing but shout and scream." Shikamaru said.

"Well if that's it for the scene, looks like we got away clean," Lee said, "Both Tenten and I are still living I mean."

"Hey so am I, this crap just wont fly," Neji scoffed.

"Oh well have it your way, for calling me gay, I use my dying breath to end your life!" Chouji cried, making a good show of acting as he threw his sword at Neji.

Neji had to dodge _into_ the sword, or Chouji would have missed, he fell down dead and said, "Oh now I die, killed by that lame old guy, and his wimpy little kunai knife!"

"It was a sword!" Tenten said.

"I just rhymed his last word!" Neji said, and then died.

"Well that still does leave, Tenten and myself I believe." Rock Lee said.

"Oh not at all, you'll just die breaking Julia's fall." Gaara said, he kicked the building on which Temari was standing.

"What the—whoa!" Temari screamed and fell onto Lee and Tenten.

"There we go, all squared away, Gaara here's saved the day, and the scene can now end properly." Shikamaru said.

"Uh, you little jerk, that really hurt, and I think we really _did_ kill poor Lee." Temari said, poking Lee with one of her swords.

But Lee grumbled something about bunnies so Shikamaru figured he was okay.

More or less.

"Thank you all so much, for listening to me, but did you have to rhyme the whole while?" Ino asked.

"Oh for crying out loud, just look at the crowd, the rhyming is making them smile." Temari said. "You didn't think I knew what I was doing, but in my clever mind a plan's always brewing, and when my back stops feeling broken, I'll tell you why you'll be glad these rhymes were all spoken!"

"I don't really care, Mrs. Pineapple Hair, oh darn now you've gotten a rhyme out of _me_!" Ino cried.

Shikamaru sighed as the curtains closed; he envied Lee, Tenten, Chouji, Kiba and Neji since they wouldn't need to be needed for anything until the curtain call.

They'd have all the time in the world to go watch clouds while he had to keep acting in this play.

"Oh man, thanks a lot Gaara, my back really hurts!" Temari complained, so Shikamaru, being the closest person to her who wasn't unconscious, helped her up. "Carry me!" She demanded.

"What? Why would I—" Shikamaru began to protest, but she wouldn't allow it.

"Carry!" The sand kunoichi barked.

"Uh . . . yes ma'am." Shikamaru, feeling his cheeks burn, picked her up.

"I could have Crow carry you, sis." Kankuro offered.

"No, this is fine." Temari said with closed eyes and a content smile. She looked kind of cute . . .

'Maybe it's fine for you, you troublesome woman.' Shikamaru thought. He didn't like having to be a means of conveyance, no matter how cute she was.

**More to Come . . .**

If there is something between Tenten and Lee they have failed totell me, and it is none ofmy business what they do in their dressing rooms in between scenes. If I can makea person rhyme for an entire day I've done my job well, if you lot enjoy the rhymes I guess I'll do my best to keep them around. I will continue as quickly as reviews come in, so review for the next chapter, you know you want to! I will take the whole doubleJulia thing into consideration since the next chapter is only 2/3 done. As for Kiba, well he is one of my favorite characters so you can rest assured that though his role is dead now, he will continue to be in this story, the next chapter even, and he will playa role in my other Naruto story once I finish this one.


	6. The Kiss!

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part VI**

**Scene Prep**

Temari leapt up into the air, "That's why the rhymes are saving the day!"

"I see . . ." Ino nodded slowly.

"I thought you were paralyzed." Shikamaru scoffed. "Isn't that why you made me carry you back here?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm sure I'd _remember_ doing something like that." Temari said innocently. Kankuro chuckled and Gaara shook his head in an odd way.

Odd because it wasn't amused, but wasn't homicidal either, a new one on his elder sister.

Ino sighed, "I really wish Sakura were here to play Julia . . ."

"Why? Temari is doing a great job!" Chouji said.

"What do you know?" Ino demanded, "That perverted girl, I'm afraid of what she's going to do in this next scene!"

That perked Temari's interest. "What's the next scene? The sex scene? You ready to become a _real_ man, Shikamaru?"

"It's not the sex scene!" Ino cried.

"Hah! So you admit that there is one!" Temari cried in triumph.

"I admit nothing!" Ino hissed.

"Fools." Shikamaru scoffed.

Temari scowled at him, "Nobody's talking to you." She said.

"Yes you were. You asked him if he was ready to—"

"Shaddap Kankuro!" Temari cried.

"Can we just get this annoying mess behind us?" Shikamaru sighed, "I have places to go, things to do."

"No you don't." Chouji said.

"Yeah but . . . still, let's get this over with." Shikamaru said.

Temari scoffed. "I'm not doing anything until I know what this scene's all about."

"Idiot." Shikamaru sighed. "What is Ramon and Julia?"

"I think you mean 'who'." Kiba pointed out.

"No, he means the play!" Ino shouted at Kiba, ". . . right?" she added, and Shikamaru nodded.

"Oh! Really stupid?" Temari offered.

"A love story!" Ino cried.

"Hmph. I knew that." Temari scoffed.

"Okay . . . so tell me, what do you expect from every love story?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari didn't like where this was going, so she said nothing.

"This next scene," Ino said, "Is the fabled kiss!"

"Oh . . . okay." Temari said, she'd been expecting something a bit worse. Yeah, she could kiss Shikamaru . . . she'd just have to close her eyes and picture someone dreamy . . .

"Let's get it over with." Shikamaru sulked.

Temari scowled at him, "I bet you've been waiting for this with lecherous glee!"

"No . . . not really." Shikamaru shrugged and walked out on stage.

"What? Well why not?" Temari demanded and followed suit.

**Act V (The Kiss!)**

Temari shuddered as she sat besides a well. Or at least she thought it might be a well, it looked kind of like a bath tub.

She waited for Shikamaru, but he didn't show, she figured he'd snuck off and gone back to sleep, or maybe cloud gazing.

The scene had been going on for some time now with no sign of Shikamaru, and what the heck? Temari was certain she'd followed him onto the stage, he'd just sort of vanished.

Suddenly a voice behind her said softly, "Julia, my love."

Temari was expecting to see Shikamaru standing there, but it wasn't him.

It was Ino dressed up like a guy.

"Uh . . . what?" Temari asked.

"The sod has given us the slip, we don't know where he went!" Ino whispered. Aloud she said "Alas my love, I have waited so long to . . . hold your hand with my glove, I do so value our secret."

Temari shook her head, "Well dear Ramon, pray sit, have a scone, they've jelly inside so don't leak it."

"Julia my sweet, I've for you a treat, this ring if you'll be my wife."

"Get out of town, how many beers did you down? I've known you three days of my life!" Temari laughed.

"You're supposed to say _yes_!" Ino whispered.

"Oh!" Temari blinked. "Dang this girl is all kinds of slutty!" She said a bit too loudly.

Ino blinked, "Uh . . . uh . . . what girl do you mean, Julia you old bean, I think you're acting a bit nutty!"

"Ah, nice save." Temari whispered.

"Thank you." Ino smirked.

"Uh, what I mean dear Ramon is that I'd be like some mean old crone if I refused your heartfelt request!"

"Then our next step is clear, kiss me my dear, yes I think that would be best!" Ino said, leaning in close.

She _had_ to be kidding.

But then if she was _that_ dedicated to art who was Temari to judge? But then maybe art had nothing to do with it and Ino just liked to swing that way.

She leaned forward, the audience became very quiet and expectant, and Temari had to wonder how many of them recognized that Ino was now playing Ramon, how many of the lecherous old men in the crowd just wanted to see two girls kiss.

"Stop right there, you traitorous pair, who dares try to kiss my sister?"

Temari thought she'd look back and see Kankuro, or Gaara . . . it was Shikamaru.

"What the—" Temari blinked.

The real Ramon leapt down from a prop building and _didn't _break his back in the process, "Julia what the devil, I thought we had something special, but here you are with my evil twin Bemoan!"

"Excuse me?" Ino demanded. "Twin? Now watch it buddy, I am like a thousand times sexier than any sister you could ever have!"

"Well she said she was you, what was I to do? I thought maybe you'd dyed your hair blonde dear Ramon."

"And as for the marriage, I cant afford a carriage, and I'm not buying a bicycle built for two!" Shikamaru said, folding his arms.

"Well that's awfully cheap, you rotten little creep, to think I was going to put out for you!"

"Now what are you trying to accomplish? You don't want this, why did you even come back?" Ino demanded.

"I went to the store, you troublesome bore, oh and I got Chouji a snack." Shikamaru said, holding up a plastic bag.

"Wow, thanks!" Chouji cried, coming out to receive his bag of chips which Shikamaru had gotten him.

Temari raised an eyebrow. Hadn't he gotten _her_ anything? All things considered she liked to think that _she _was his friend too, and she was kind of hungry.

"Uh . . . well Ramon, since I cant just steal your love it is time to slap you with my glove, me and thee shalt duel for her hand!"

"You do know there are words other than glove that rhyme with the word love, and why did you leave, then come back, that I do not understand." Temari said.

Shikamaru shrugged. "I needed a certain supply, for this scene didn't I? So I went to the market. Realized I'd rather not come back, but had already bought Chouji his snack, so now I'm here again so I might as well park it."

"You left for a supply? You're one weird guy, and what pray tell did you buy?" Temari asked.

"That doesn't matter, and watch out for blood spatter, my evil twin must now die!"

"You seem oddly motivated, suspiciously dedicated, to finishing off this play." Ino said with a dubious smile.

"Motivation and dedication aren't words I put to use, I just don't look forward to tomorrow's abuse, if I slip out and abandon you today." Shikamaru shrugged.

"You do care!" Ino squeaked happily. "Well don't stand over there, come and kiss your sweetheart!"

"Kiss her? I see, well uh about _that _scene, I was hoping I'd be too late for it, know what I mean? Chouji _really_ can play this role." Shikamaru scoffed.

"He's just shy because he's a virgin." Ino whispered.

Temari raised her eyebrows at the fourteen year old. "You're not?" She demanded.

"What do you think?" Ino scoffed, throwing her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

"I think you are." Temari smirked.

Ino deflated, "You're no fun!" She said, and folded her arms and pouted.

"So what say you Julia, you want to kiss Chouji huh? I mean I'm not worth the effort." Shikamaru yawned.

"You'll do just fine, now grow a damn spine, one little kiss isn't going to hurt." Temari scoffed. She was considering forcing a kiss on him just to spite the ungrateful bastard, I mean here he had the chance to kiss her and he was wimping out? Also he hadn't brought her anything from the store, and she was hungry so she was a little vindictive.

As she considered this however Chouji ran out and shouted, "Will you stop trying to get me to play Ramon?" He shoved Shikamaru forward and the smaller boy flew several feet!

He would have slammed into Ino if the nimble girl hadn't dodged.

Temari however figured she'd take her fan and just use her power to throw him back.

She didn't have her fan, she found, and when she looked up it was too late to dodge!

Shikamaru's face slammed into hers, their lips perfectly aligned so that one might say that they kissed, but a normal person would say that their faces slammed together and blood sprayed all over the audience in the front row.

Temari groaned and Shikamaru held his hand over his mouth.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to shove you that hard!" Chouji cried and ran off.

Shikamaru scowled but Temari grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for the kiss.

But she was a little woozy after hitting her head so what should have been a dominant, forceful, and maybe _slightly _passionate kiss marking her–or at least Julia, her role–as the pants wearer of the relationship just ended up in another head but.

"Och, son of a–" Temari groaned.

"Sh' 'ell're joo 'oing?" Shikamaru slurred, holding his head.

"I was trying to kiss you!" Temari said.

"I only like you as a friend." The younger man said, focusing his eyes.

"No joke, I'm not exactly hot for you either!" Temari scoffed.

"Uh . . . I hate to say this, but that didn't count as a kiss, you guys have to do it again." Ino said, waving her script at them.

"Why you little," Temari groaned, reaching for anything that could be considered a weapon.

"Oh! My supplies!" Shikamaru said suddenly.

'Good boy,' Temari thought, 'strangle her with the plastic bag!' But too late, she would kill Ino with her bare hands!

"Julia!" Shikamaru said, and Temari looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"For you my sweet, though I'd rather retreat, and tend to my injuries, just one little kiss, ere this opportunity I miss, so just hold still now if you please." Shikamaru said, Temari gawked.

He reached out and placed his hands on her cheeks, drawing her in close to him, she heard Kankuro gagging, and could almost swear she heard sand angrily stirring.

Shikamaru's lips pressed against hers . . . at least she was pretty sure they did, this didn't feel like a regular kiss. After a moment they seperrated, Ino clapping furiously, Shikamaru continued to hold Temari's face.

She tried to say something witty, but it didn't happen, her mouth wouldn't open.

She raised her eyebrows and tried looking down at her mouth, Shikamaru grinned wickedly and removed his hands, and with them came the duct tape he'd placed over her lips before kissing them.

It kind of hurt. Not too much of course . . . but Temari's scream _could_ be heard on the other side of the village. A series and spears made of sand that had just been about to descend on Shikamaru dissipated, and the Sand kunoichi was certain she could hear _both_ of her brothers laughing now.

"And so love's first kiss, ends with an odd little twist, uh, I guess that's the end of this scene. Ramon and Julia, I'm proud of the two of ya, but don't over do it, y'know what I mean?" Ino chuckled.

Temari scoffed. "That's it, your supply? You troublesome guy, and here I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

"If I wanted a kiss as a general rule, I'd ask to date you like any old fool, You should have known that I didn't want this part."

"Well yeah but taping my mouth? What's that all about? That hurt you lazy ass jerk!"

"Don't act so surprised, the way you leaned in and closed your eyes, man you're a real piece of work."

"You two can stop rhyming now, the curtains closed already." Ino pointed out.

"Now don't you dare think I wanted to kiss, I really don't like any of this, but if _you_ were going to kiss me I'd expect it to be done properly." Temari said, ignoring Ino's suggestion that the rhymes stop.

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Note**: I find it surprising just how popular this story is in comparison to my other works, I mean what the heck! On it's one week anniversary it already had more reviews than many of my older stories have after a few years, you people amaze me! Seems you really like the rhymes, well this chapter didn't have as many as I'd like since it was mostly finished when I put up chapter 5 and found that they weren't annoying, the next chapter will have more rhymes. Also what Gaara and Lee do on their own time is their business, not mine. I think I fear Gaara too much to ask him to kiss Lee . . . Lee is problematic too since I cant even ask him after getting him drunk as that'd result in my death as well, so we'll just let them be themselves and see what happens.

P.S. Forgive the lateness of my update, it's not that there weren't enough reviews, but I thought I'd already put this up.


	7. No Way!

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part VII**

**Scene Prep**

"They _so _made out!" Kiba cried, "Three kisses in one scene!"

"The first two, if you can even call them kisses, were accidental, the third means nothing, our lips never touched." Shikamaru said.

"That was smart." Kankuro enthused, "You're so lucky Gaara realized what you were doing _before _he murdered you!"

Shikamaru gulped. "See? It's a good thing I didn't really kiss you, Temari." He pointed out.

"Why? Do you think your life means more to me than the raw stinging sensation on my lips now? If you died kissing me you'd die happily, my soft perfect lips would have been my final gift to you."

"Yeah . . . I'm going to go with the whole 'keep breathing' option." Shikamaru frowned.

"Wise choice." Gaara nodded.

"Well what about the play?" Ino demanded, "They have to kiss for the marriage scene."

Gaara considered this for a while, "Okay, he may kiss my sister's hand."

"You're not my father, you're my little bro–" Temari was saying until Gaara raised a . . . well he really didn't have eyebrows, but if he did one of them would have been raised. Temari thought better of what she was going to say and instead said, "I mean, my hand. Right, that's uh . . . that's very good."

Gaara might have changed into a nice guy after the first Chunin exams, and he certainly wouldn't kill Temari or Kankuro, but he could still beat them silly without breaking a sweat . . . or lifting a finger for that matter. While he might not even bother to do that, the two clearly didn't want to take chances.

Yeah, Shikamaru decided he never wanted to annoy Gaara . . . too much.

Ino on the other hand didn't seem to have come to that epiphany, "They need to kiss, on the lips, properly! Why cant they use the duct tape again?"

"Nobody's taping my mouth!" Temari snapped.

"But it'd improve your demeanor so much, sis!" Kankuro said, and then Temari's foot found a home in his stomach.

"Say it again little brother!" Temari said sweetly. She might have lingering fears about Gaara, but she didn't seem to possess any in regards to Kankuro, and the fact that she, the eldest had just been scared into submission by he, the youngest probably made her a little more physical in dealing with the middle child than she would normally have been.

Or she was just a irascible bitch. Shikamaru decided that either way their whole family needed counseling.

Ino shook her head, "Okay, well we'll work on the kissing issue since the marriage scene comes after this one, but try to think of solutions you two!" Ino said.

Shikamaru would do no such thing, though he didn't doubt he could if it weren't too much of a bother. Temari said nothing which Shikamaru hoped didn't mean she was thinking.

"What is this next scene?" Gaara asked.

"The scene where Julia's brothers find out she's engaged."

"That doesn't make sense, why would she tell them?" Kiba demanded. "I mean Ramon just put me on ice, and Akamaru too!"

"I don't hear Neji complaining." Ino said.

"Actually I haven't seen much of Neji . . . or Lee and Tenten since their 'deaths' . . . did they leave?" Chouji asked.

"Uh . . . yeah, probably." Ino admitted.

"Can I?" Hinata asked.

"What? No!" Ino cried.

"How about–" Shikamaru began, but the icy stare Ino gave him shut him up.

Temari smirked, and Shikamaru let it go knowing mentally that he'd win whatever argument he might start with her simply because it was his self appointed team captain, and not his baby brother who had shut him up with unspoken promises of violence.

Of course Ino couldn't crush him in a sand coffin either . . . normal kids just cut their sister's hair off in her sleep. Shikamaru's suspicions that the family might need counseling were reinforced.

**ACT VI (No Way!)**

So Temari sat at what was supposed to be a feasting table of the Fantasy village . . . or myth, whichever stupid side she was supposed to be on.

Asside from her brothers or rather Julia's brothers . . . well really her brothers who were preteneding to be Julia's–damn it the point is besides Gaara and Kankuro she was the only non-Hinata at the table.

The mass of Hinata clones were dressed in a variety of different costumes, some were male which reminded Temari of Ino. Yes now the mere thought of cross dressing would always bring up an image of the attractive young blonde.

"Brothers dear, listen here, I've a question to press thee."

"This food is all wax, how can I relax? And man do I have to pee!" Kankuro said.

"You're a fool and a pawn, you should have gone, I told you to go before we began." Gaara said calmly.

"I didn't have too then! Plus it smelled like a pig pen, there was a weird sound so I ran!" Kankuro said.

Ino's voice cut in with the narration, "And elegant Julia attempts to tell her dear brothers of her relationship with Ramon, whom she'll soon wed . . . well okay so she's technically engaged to Bemoan, but she did hit Ramon's head so they might as well get married."

"Uh, brothers dear, my words you should hear, I'm not going to wait here all night!" Temari said.

"Hear you we shall, since your such a nice gal, but you should have helped us in that fight." Kankuro said.

"You, me, he, we three will always be family," Temari said, "But there comes a time when a woman must be free–"

"We're sorry he had to die, he was a good guy, but yeah we already know about your relationship with Neji." Gaara said.

"That's not what she means, I think she's trying to spill the beans, about why she helped those Myth Shinobi."Kankuro said.

Temari nodded, "Brothers so dear, something is unclear, why we war with Myth is a mystery to me."

Gaara opened his mouth but apparently didn't think of a good rhyme for whatever he wanted to articulate. Ino came to the rescue, "Julia's brothers give her a long and in-depth explanation of why their county is at war with Myth and why they must remain at war, Julia is satisfied!"

"Uh . . . okay . . ."Temari said. "Well if you put it that way . . . All right, I suppose we've no choice _but_ to fight. So I have a plan in my head."

"Tell us quick sis, because I'm going to take a quick piss, and then go straight to bed."

"Kankuro you ass, don't you have any class? We're sitting down for dinner here!"

"Brothers please don't fight, I have something I must say tonight, something the two of you must hear!" Temari said.

"Julia speaks so you shut up, hey servant, can you refill my cup? More of the hard liquor, I have a feeling I'm going to want to be drunk."

"Yes well your sister has a . . . a plan, to help destroy that Mythical clan, so don't get tipsy yet you little punk!"

"Wait, they have alcohol here? I could sure go for a beer!" Kankuro whispered and raised an interested eyebrow.

"No, it's water, this is a play. Or did you forget, Kankuro, what we've been doing all day?" Gaara said softly, taking a sip of his drink.

"Do you honestly think, I'd let you two really drink?" Temari whispered.

"Does it bother anyone else that we're not talking loud enough for the audience to hear, but we're still rhyming?" Kankuro asked suddenly.

Gaara and Temari stared at him. "We were until you ruined it, you big annoying git!" Gaara said.

"What he said times twenty one, you've ruined the fun." Temari said. Then loud enough for the crowd she said "Gaara, Kankuro, there is something that you should know, I've snared the heart of a Myth village hero."

"So that is why, you were with that lazy guy! Gotta say sis, he looks more like a zero." Kankuro said.

"This interests me, so lets wait and see, what she has to say my good brother." Gaara said.

"Well I don't care what you do, or what he does to you, so long as you don't become a mother." Kankuro said.

"Oh yeah, real nice, what lame ass advice, you're a crappy little brother!" Temari scoffed.

"Do go on with your plan, what will you do with this man? And why must it be him, instead of another?" Gaara pressed.

Temari looked around at the Hinatas at the table to make sure they weren't listening, they were in fact arguing uproariously, it seemed two of them had gotten into a fist fight, for some reason, and Temari didn't know why she felt as if this were something she should have expected from that Naruto kid instead.

She said, "This man I will wed, and then when all's done and said, I will be in the village of Myth of course."

Gaara grinned, "And then you'll let us in, so the slaughter can begin, and to think we were going to try hiding in a horse!"

Temari imagined Julia would try to look pleased and distressed at the same time, so she attempted it and felt her face break down–that feeling you get when you know what you're doing is stupid and so you stop midway through and you look even dumber–she said, "Then you agree? I can marry the Myth Shinobi? This plan meets with your approval?"

"Crafty indeed, we'll carry it out with great speed, and soon the Myth village will suffer fiery removal." Kankuro nodded.

"And so Julia's brothers plot on her lies which they bought," Ino said, "what ever will happen to the lovers next?"

Temari shrugged. Next would be the wedding . . . what the heck came after that? How long was this stupid play?

**Offstage**

Shikamaru was laying atop the roof of the theater just above the stage next to a sky light. It was nearly evening so everything was getting dark.

He supposed he wouldn't get another chance to do this today, so he stared up at the clouds while listening to the play, thinking on what Temari suggested it was clear that she had something up her sleeve that didn't really have anything to do with the real play . . . but then Ino hadn't given her too much direction anyway. He dreaded the inevitable fact that he'd be taken away from the relaxation of simply watching the evening clouds to act in Ino's thrice cursed play, but wondered, beyond all reason, what would happen next.

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Worthless Comments: **Once again a thanks to all of you who are reviewing, especially those who are reviewing regularly, seeing the same name of multiple reviews doesn't bother me in the least, it lets me know I've gotten your attention. The whole Ino being his twin thing was something I'd wanted to try for a while, I had this image of Ino being so determined to get the play right that Shikamaru would trick her into playing his role, however in the end her doing it on her own made it funnier, I think. It's always nice to know that what I write impacts people, but don't worry if rhymes don't flow from your mind, I myself spend a great deal of time trying to keep a good flow going and sometimes it's difficult for me.

Temari and Shikamaru are our romantic leads both in the play and in whatever you want to call those chaotic scenes of nonsense outside of the play, so they do care about one another but generally most of the flirting is supposed to come from Temari, and only half of that is serious. I just don't see Shikamaru as the obvious flirting type. Subtle flirting on the other hand . . .

Now the tape . . . I know what you're thinking, and yeah, you're right. I totally got that from Ranma. But I figure Shikamaru is much smarter than Ranma, he could come up with the same idea. But the tape was not the only supply Shikamaru bought, but you'll see what I mean soon. Ino's armor incidentally was also inspired by Ranma, from where Soun dresses for war to confront Happosai, then ends up being too heavy to run away.

I have no idea if it's duct tape or duck tape, I've never considered it, I probably still wont because I'm lazy, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say duck tape would get me in trouble with animal rights services since I already had poor Akamaru's stunt double get knocked out. If I go around talking about taping ducks the Elite Animal Rights Division of Anbu might show up and execute me.


	8. The Wedding

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part VIII**

**Scene Prep**

Shikamaru sighed as his situation was explained to him. "You've been given permission to kiss her hand, not her lips, and you cant hold her hand for too long either, also don't take her hand, she needs to give it to you." Ino said.

"What a total pain!" Shikamaru said, "No play is worth all this! Now if Gaara doesn't notice Temari giving me her hand I'm going to die."

"No, Gaara is going to be watching very closely, he assures me he doesn't _want_ to kill you, if he did you'd be dead already. It's just his brotherly duty."

"Whatever." Shikamaru scoffed. "Anyone find Neji yet? He can play Ramon now that his first role is dead." Shikamaru said, knowing better than to ever again suggest Chouji play Ramon.

"No he cant, turns out he and his team made a break for freedom, they made it over the electric barbed wire fence so you know they're serious. If they didn't want to be in my play they only had to say so!" Ino shrugged.

"Ino, dear friend, benevolent dictator . . . I really don't want to be in this play." Shikamaru said.

"Tough." Ino shrugged.

"But you just said–" Shikamaru complained but Ino cut him off.

"Ah-ah! They're not on my team, I'm team leader and I say you're acting! If you're a good kisser you might even score a girlfriend out of this!"

"I don't want a girlfriend, one woman running and ruining my life is enough." Shikamaru said.

"You shouldn't say things like that about your mother." Ino pointed out.

"I meant you." Shikamaru scoffed.

"Really? Wow that's . . . almost romantic. Considering it's coming from someone like you." Ino blushed, "Well okay, let's forget the play and go on a date!"

Well that hadn't been his intention! "Look let's just get this over with!" He said, abruptly turning and heading for the stage.

He heard Ino and Chouji laughing, he knew Ino had been joking. Maybe. He just didn't want to take that chance!

He'd take anyone over Ino, heck he'd date Temari before he . . . ooh, so not a good thought right there.

The young man shook his head, "Let's just get this over with." He repeated.

**Act VII (The Wedding)**

Shikamaru sighed as he entered the scene, it was of a bizarre little wedding chapel with Hinata playing the roles of all the guests, aside from Neji's team, who'd returned-dressed as ghosts, they wore white sheets over their bodies with eye holes cut out, Shikamaru could tell it was them because, let's face it, Neji and Lee's eyes were just too distinguishable from regular eyes, and what girl would be standing between the two if not Tenten?

Kiba was there as a ghost, and so an odd white bundle asleep on the stage next to him Shikamaru guessed to be Akamaru. Chouji came running out from back stage wearing a sheet along with Ino who was quickly applying her Bemoan disguise while trying to keep hold of her microphone.

"Our hero Ramon has come to his wedding, so that later tonight they can test out their bedding–"

"Just stop." Shikamaru whispered.

But Ino did not. "Time now for the marriage and till death do they part, now you'll all see that my play is a great work of art!"

Temari shrugged helplessly, which was exactly how Shikamaru felt as he approached the alter. Both her brothers were there, Kankuro was, it seemed, the one giving Julia away, Gaara was the minister, and Shikamaru's only back up was Ino, who, playing Bemoan and the narrator both at once, would be his best man.

Gosh he pitied himself.

"Hand only, understand? You kiss only her hand, if you touch anything else you're a dead duck." Gaara whispered.

"Yeah, yeah I know, cant you just let it go? I wont kiss her on the lips I'll just–Oh fuck!" Shikamaru gasped.

There was no easy way to say it, but Temari was really pretty in her costume. It wasn't traditional since this wasn't a real wedding, it was a white kimono lined with a silver pattern of flowers, along with a blue sash, she wore her forehead protector around her neck as usual, and it was the only familiar thing about her.

The costume was nice, but she'd have looked beautiful even without it, unfortunately that brought the image of her without any costume to Shikamaru's mind and that wasn't a safe thing to be thinking in front of her brothers.

Her blonde hair was not tied back in its usual four pony tails, revealing that it went just below her shoulders and had clearly been very carefully combed down, leaving it straight and stunning. That also meant there'd be no calling her "Pineapple Hair" for this scene, which was too bad because Shikamaru had thought of a rhyme for that. None the less she looked _really_ pretty, magnificent even.

Her cheeks were an odd shade of attractive red and her eyes–holy cow she was wearing makeup! Not very much, but enough for Shikamaru to notice and feel like maybe he should stop staring at her before it was too late.

"You don't get the picture, you're not going to fuck her, and can you watch your mouth you jerk?" Kankuro asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, slip of the tongue's all so let's go, get his over with it's too much work!" Shikamaru said.

Temari seemed to think it was very funny, and said "Well now hey, don't I get a say? I for one could sure use a good lay."

"Not on our watch, if your love life we botch, then we can say we've had a good and successful day." Gaara said calmly.

"If we can stop talking about sex for a bit, I'd really love to get on with this skit." Ino coughed into her first, "The marriage of Julia and Ramon is about to begin, no longer will their love be a terrible sin, with the witness of all of their family and friends, maybe, just maybe the tragedy ends."

"Show some skin!" One of the ghosts–it sounded like Kiba–shouted!

Some annoyed sand blew in their direction, Chouji stomped on Kiba's foot, the beast master shouted in surprise, but nobody died so really they came out on top.

Gaara glared at them, then took a deep breath, "Today we here gather, to deal with a rather annoying matter, the wedding of these two young souls. Ramon and Julia my sister dear, have decided to go and gather us here, after the ceremony we'll have some sake bowls."

"Amen!" Kankuro cried.

"Shaddap!" Gaara snapped. He looked at Temari with slightly narrowed eyes, "Julia of the village of fantasy nin . . . are you sure you want a lazy ass looser like him?"

"Hear you my voice, I am sure of my choice, and my reasons are know to thee."

"Yeah well he's not all that great, and you've never even gone on a date, so I'm rethinking this maybe."

"Not your call little brother, you're not my mother, now get on with the ceremony." Temari said.

Gaara sighed, and gave Shikamaru a look that said if he said "I do" he'd die, but Shikamaru didn't notice since he was staring at Temari again.

It wasn't that he couldn't stop, he could, and it wasn't like she was turning him on or anything . . . well she was but it was under control . . . more or less. The problem was he'd never seen her looking so girlish, and it was a refreshing change. He sort of wished she'd wear longer kimonos all the time, they suited her. Though that skirt she'd taken to wearing was nice too, now that he thought about it.

It was just so new, he was trying to decide what he thought of it. Yeah, that was all . . .

"Ramon you Myth fool, will thou be my sister's tool, her eternal and worthless little slave?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah sure, why not? I mean she is pretty hot, so sure I'll be hers till the grave."

"Sooner than you think if you call our sister "hot" one more time." Kankuro whispered.

"Hey just relax it's only a play, we're not going to be in-laws, at least not today." Shikamaru smirked at Kankuro.

"Well with the power, mind you _power_ vested in me," Gaara said, sand swirling as he said the word "power" the second time, "You can kiss your bride, keeping in mind that she is my sister Temari."

Shikamaru shrugged, went down on one knee, waited a second after Temari offered him her hand–to be sure that Gaara saw that she'd done so, then quickly, painlessly brushed his lips against it.

In that half second that he held her hand and then kissed it he mused at how soft and smooth her skin was.

He rose to his feet and smirked, "Nothing but hand, just like you planned, so do I still need to die?"

"Yes someday, but not right away, I guess you're a trustworthy guy." Gaara nodded.

Temari rolled her eyes, reached out and grabbed Shikamaru, she forced her lips against his without banging heads this time, and seemed to be sucking the air out of his lungs along with the tongue out of his mouth, when she dropped him–he fell to the ground–she wiped her mouth against the sleeve of her kimono and sighed, "That's more like it my love, there you go! This is a wedding, or didn't you know? You don't kiss the bride's hand, you silly little man." Temari put her hands on her hips and grinned, holding back laughter as Shikamaru pulled himself to his feet. She turned to Ino, "My darling Ramon, and his brother or sister whatever the heck you are Bemoan, it is with pride that I join your family."

"That's well and good, welcome to our hood, but I think you've just indirectly murdered me." Shikamaru said.

Gaara was stone faced, Kankuro's jaw hung open, there were some congratulatory, yet sympathetic cat calls from Kiba, "Way to go man! Too bad you don't get to live long enough to do more than that, but you go boy!"

Ino looked concerned, "Uh, Julia dear, you've erred I fear, in kissing poor Ramon on the lips."

"Naw, I know what I'm doing and he'll be just fine, though I didn't think kissing could break a man's spine, he's just lucky I thought twice about placing his hands on my hips." Temari said.

"But now Gaara is going to kill him!" Kankuro cried.

"Stop throwing off the rhymes, Kankuro, the curtains have not closed yet you know!" Temari said.

"Oh what tragedy, to die because of thee, now the Nara clan has lost its only son!" Ino wailed, taking a few wise steps away from Shikamaru as sand swirled.

"Hey now don't freak out, there's no need to pout, if my brother wanted you dead it'd be done." Temari told Shikamaru, who struggled to his feet.

"Actually I've got to say, you're just in the way, you mind stepping back a few paces?" Gaara asked.

Temari blinked, "But hey that's not fair, I kissed _him_ back there, and I only did it to see the look on your guys' faces!"

"I couldn't care less, if the kiss came with or without your behest, I made the rules perfectly clear. Now Ramon face me, I wont let you flee, face me now and show me no fear!" Gaara said.

Shikamaru sighed and turned to face Gaara, after considering it for a moment he gently pushed Temari aside. "All right then let's go, but just so you know, I don't plan to go quietly."

Gaara glared at him for just a moment, before his expression broke into a sort of half grin and with what might have almost been a laugh on his voice he said "Kill you for something so small? Why not at all, I can't believe you took me seriously! It was all just a prank, I wont make you walk the plank, just for kissing Temari!"

"Uh . . . well I guess Gaara made a joke, you leaf ninjas are some damn lucky folk, 'cause he sure scared the spit out of me!" Kankuro shook his head and slapped Shikamaru on the shoulder as the curtains closed and the sand siblings left the stage.

Shikamaru tilted his head to the side . . . Temari had a nice ass too. Not that he ever noticed that sort of thing . . . since women were so troublesome and all that . . .

He spotted Chouji and Kiba coming towards him, the looks on their faces said clearly that they wanted to know what kissing Temari was like . . . so Shikamaru tried to run for it, only to be stopped when Ino lunged forward and grabbed his legs, "Oh no you don't!" She cried, "We want to know what it was like!"

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Needless Nonsense: **I never thought I'd be good at rhyming until I started writing this, now I might just try some upbeat Goth poetry (this is a joke _and _a contradiction) As is clear I rather liked the idea of Temari having her hair down for this scene, it made Shikamaru's reluctant marveling over her easier to manage and gives him more to work with in the next chapter. I was a little iffy about Gaara laughing, this story is set just before Gaara becomes Kazekage, so he's a nice guy, but I just cant imagine him laughing very hard just then, which is why he calls it a prank instead of a joke, pranks are slightly mean spirited, jokes are just funny.

At least that's the definition he's using.

Well now you're look forward to the next chapter I hope, remember to review and all that, our story is nearing it's end, but just knowing the ending of Romeo and Juliet (I assume they live happily ever after, I don't really know, I always fall asleep . . . j/k) doesn't mean you know how this is going to end.


	9. Scene Prep

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part IX**

**Scene Prep**

Temari grinned at herself in the mirror as she tied her hair again. Yes, she'd been stunning. Everyone had been impressed, including and especially Shikamaru, and just when she was almost convinced he couldn't be straight!

He wasn't the world's best kisser though. She'd give him some leeway and assume that he'd have been better at it if he'd been prepared and not too busy fearing for his life, but her man needed to be able to kiss well even if he were caught off guard and about to die.

Not that Shika-kun was her man. Did she just refer to him as 'kun'? Did she just refer to him as Shika?

She eyed the discarded wedding kimono suspiciously. Yes, it must be that, there was a chemical inside of it that made her think really stupid things.

Or there were some subliminal thoughts in her head, as a little girl she never got to play wedding before. As a little girl nobody had wanted to play with Gaara's big sister and now years later nobody _dared _to play with Gaara's older and "nowhere near as scary or deadly as he is but still pretty scary and deadly" sister. Even Shikamaru hadn't wanted to do the scene, how was Temari going to know how to act at her own wedding having been so viciously deprived of the opportunity to act like a normal little girl growing up?

She'd just been lucky that Kankuro had liked to play with dolls as a kid, it led to his use of puppets, probably to their father's great relief . . . if he even noticed and cared. She'd just stolen his dolls whenever she felt particularly girly, but usually ripped their heads off before too long . . .

Temari sighed, stupid wedding. But it was kind of nice to do it, not that she'd do it again any time soon, it wasn't her thing. Still . . . a change of pace every now and then was okay.

"That was uh . . . pretty good back there." Ino said, "But um, try not to get my teammates killed in the future, right?"

Temari shrugged, smirking at the image in the mirror, behind her stood Ino, but behind her was Shikamaru who was being hassled by Kiba.

"Arent you going to say anything, Shikamaru?" Ino demanded.

Shikamaru grumbled something that sounded like "mind your own business" and Ino spun around, grabbed him by the wrist and shoved him forward towards Temari.

Shikamaru scoffed and said "Thanks for almost getting me killed." He said, Kiba and Ino both punched him in the back of the head, which caused him to lurch forward into Temari.

She was tough enough not to fall back herself though, and luckily they didn't bang their heads again. She just sort of glared at him as he separated himself from her, he rubbed the back of his head and said "What I mean is thanks for trying to talk Gaara out of it."

Temari smirked again and said "No problem. Didn't want you to die yet, if I'm suffering through this whole play you are too."

"Let's just leave you two alone! The next scene starts soon, so don't get too carried away!" Ino fluttered off . . . like a regular girl . . . idiot. And Kiba got dragged off in her wake. Shikamaru waited until they were out of earshot before he said in a voice so soft that Temari barely heard him, "Also that Kimono looks beautiful on you."

Temari raised an eyebrow. Had Shikamaru just come on to her? She decided to have a little fun with him and said in an angry, sarcastic voice, "Oh? Well I'm _so_ glad you like it, thank you so much, I'll tell the kimono how lovely you think it is. You want to keep it? You like it so much."

"What?" Shikamaru looked surprised, "I mean _you're _beautiful."

Temari couldn't hide her smile, and she was pretty sure she was blushing all of a sudden, which was total bull. She wanted to tell him that she'd known that and she wasnt an idiot, but instead she just sort of stammered, "I-ya-um . . . really?"

"Yeah. I liked your hair too . . . but next time–if you ever want to dress up like that again . . . keep the pony tails."

"Why?" Temari asked, suddenly looking for ways to hide her reddening cheeks–what the heck? When did her cheeks learn how to do this?–she turned away from him and tried to do so in a way that didn't seem like a retreat, but lack of interest. "You . . . like my hair?" She asked, glancing back at him in case he mimed his response. Maybe he liked her hair, that was no big deal!

Shikamaru smirked now and said, "Well it's just . . . I had this really funny rhyme made up but it revolved around calling you Pineapple Hair–" He was saying, but Temari, thoroughly put out threw herself at him, screaming a battle cry that would have stopped the heart of any Shinobi, save perhaps Gaara.

The lazy, no good jerk! He'd gotten her all worked up for nothing! And here she'd started to feel kind of tingly and all that nonsense!

She grabbed him by the collar of his vest and they went down, Temari on top, she raised a fist to pound into him but he caught it and stopped it.

But that was only because she wasn't really trying! She could beat him if she wanted! Yeah . . . yeah, no sweat!

"I told you two not to get too carried away!" Ino cried.

"Look at 'em, they cant even get a room! Oh my gosh this is so awesome!" Kiba cried, "Take it off!"

Kankuro smacked him in the back of the head, "You nitwit, that's my sister, tell someone else to take it off so I can appreciate it too!"

Temari soon realized that Gaara was standing over her. "Uh . . . we were just playing, Gaara." She said sheepishly.

"Obviously." Gaara said. "Don't waste too much time . . . the next scene starts in one minute."

Temari shook her head as Gaara left, "Look what you did!" She hissed.

"Me?" Shikamaru raised his lazy eyebrows in a lazy manner.

"Get up already and go do that next scene!" Temari commanded him.

"But . . . you're on top." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Oh!" Temari blinked, then closed her eyes again without opening them. She slowly, delicately got off of him. "I uh . . . guess I am. Well get used to it, I'm always on top!" She said, lazily opening her eyes, however what she saw was not what she wanted to see–that everyone had acted their age and moved on to more interesting things–it was the opposite, everyone was staring at her.

Shikamaru got up and was clearly holding back laughter, Kiba and Kankuro didn't bother to do even that, and the others were starting to come over, clearly wanting to know what was so funny, so Temari–who felt a little tipsy–rethought what she'd just said, glowered at Shikamaru and said "I mean on top of the game, top of the scores, that kind of thing. Pervert."

"Yeah . . . of course you did." Shikamaru said with a smirk almost as obnoxiously self-sure as one of Temari's own.

Temari's glower increased in power, "Let's just do the scene."

Shikamaru bowed low and taking up his prop sword said "The epic scene where we–"

"Actually that scene has been cancled." Ino said.

Shikamaru blinked, "Eh?"

"I've rewritten the script, shouldnt matter since you guys are just making stuff up out there."

"True." Temari said. "Is there still a sex scene?"

"Oh I think you've had enough sex for one day." Ino smirked.

Temari's eye twitched, "I was trying to beat him up."

"Oh _yeah_." Kiba said in a lecherous tone.

"So what's this next scene?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well it's right after the wedding, Ramon and Julia are close to enjoying the married life, but Ramon must present Julia to his family so that she can become part of the village."

A scary thought occured to Shikamaru, "Who's playing my parents?"

"Hinata and Neji–" Ino began, Shikamaru felt relief flow through him!

"That's gross!" Temari cried, "They're brother and sister!"

"Cousins actually, and you didn't let me finish. Hinata and Neji talked your mother into it and she talked your father into it, so your real parents are playing the role." Ino giggled, "it's almost like you really _are _presenting Temari to them, since you two are getting so intimate over the course of this play!"

"I was trying to beat him up!" Temari cried again.

"Aww man! How troublesome, my real mother? You've got to be kidding me!" Shikamaru groaned.

Ino raised her eyebrows mischeviously, "Who else did we have? Blame your little pineapple princess over there, she's the one who had to change the story. Anyway they'll reject your love, and you and Julia will have to threaten to run away, we'll end the scene with your escape and her capture!"

"Yeah, you would just leave me." Temari scoffed.

"No I wouldn't." Shikamaru sighed. And he sounded like he meant it . . . which made Temari wonder if he'd ever get off of his lazy but long enough to save her from a stink beetle, let alone from prison. "Look let's just get this troublesome play over with, all right?"

Ino saluted him and said, "Go! Go in the name of art, theater, and love!"

"Shove a sock in it." Shikamaru grumbled.

Temari smirked at him, the whole smirking thing was really going around, "I cant wait to meet your mother." She said.

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Worthless Warblings:** I usually _will _cave in to requests if I feel like it will improve or at least won't harm the story (i.e. a request to have Gaara kill Kiba would both annoy me, and ultimately would not in any way improve the story) Temari with her hair down, along with just about every other request made so far, has been doable (though I might not have done them yet, keep reading because I probably will), I tip my hat to the Naruto reviewing community of for being so agreeable and though I am homesick for the Ranma section I suppose I will keep a foot in both worlds and keep writing Naruto stories as well.

Shikamaru's tape actually _was _duct tape, he slipped it onto her mouth right before kissing her (why he held her face as he kissed her) when their lips parted he was still holding her, allowing her time to figure out what was going on, then he ripped the tape off when he removed his hands, so the audience saw nothing, they just noticed Temari scream and some other actors laugh. Also I rather like those rhymes of yours Shikamaru's Butterrfly.

Jokes may or may not be Gaara's thing, which is indeed why he played a prank instead which may indeed have been a little OOC, but let us not forget the fact that he is playfully rhyming along with everyone else as well. In reality if Shikamaru and Temari are still in character–or if they've ever been–I'm pleased enough that I don't care if everyone else is just a little wacky, but despite all appearances characters who are in character until given sufficient reasons to be otherwise are always important to me in any fan fiction most especially my own. Ino's decision to lead the play has to do with her being a romantic and a total nagging boss type person, however that said I feel that she is the most out of character person in the story.

Well . . . except maybe Hinata.

This chapter I laid off the rhyming, not intentionally I just opened my eyes when I was ready to do the scene and saw this chapter had already reached its length limit, so next chapter is going to be all Act . . . 99? There will be rhymes. I threw one rhyme in here just because . . . see if you can find it.


	10. Meet The Parents

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part X**

**Act VIII (Meet The Parents)**

Temari, dressed in her regular cloths again--still refusing, as any self respecting kunoichi would, to wear the Julia costume.

The night gown had been kind of hot, and the wedding kimono had played to a childhood need that was never fulfilled, but other than that her own outfit would do.

Shikamaru's parents were seated, dressed normally--Ino probably hadn't had time to force Hinata to make costumes for them--and watching her expectantly. She'd seen his father before, rugged looking in exactly the way his son was not. Shikamaru was a pansy, got it from his mother whose looks were just average. Little about that woman would have stood out in Temari's mind, had they passed one another on the streets the Suna teenager wouldn't have given the Konoha woman a second thought.

"Mother and father, though it is a major bother, I present to you my bride." Shikamaru said.

"Mister and misses Ramon, you've a lovely home, just being here fills me with pride." Temari bowed and the two were seated across from the adults around a table that left Temari wondering if Hinata could transform into inanimate objects.

"Are you two rhyming with each other?" Shikamaru's father asked.

"Oh how cute!" His mother bubbled, then suddenly she was stern, "Sit up straight!"

Temari smirked again, poor Shikamaru.

His mother's gaze turned to her and she straightened her posture not because she was at all intimidated, but because she'd rather not get into it. Shikamaru was either incredibly disciplined, or, more likely, incredibly lazy not to snap back.

"Tell us son, who is your little girlfriend?" Shikamaru's mother asked sweetly.

"She's not my girlfriend, she is my wife. It's only till this play's end, then I reclaim my regular life." Shikamaru scoffed.

Shikamaru's father smirked, "Well it seems to me, you two've got chemistry, you've been flirting with each other all night."

Shikamaru turned red, "Troublesome dad, I'd remember if we had, so what you say just cant be right."

"Dear are you rhyming as well?" Shikamaru's mother asked.

His father shrugged, "Seemed the clever thing to do, so try it wont you? The kids have been doing it all day."

"The Hyuga girl said 'improvise', she didn't say to waste our lives, thinking up rhymes for this play." Shikamaru's mother said.

"But dear, you just--"

"Silence!"

"Yes dear." Shikamaru's father sighed.

Shikamaru sighed too, "Look, this is my wife, deal with it, get a life. If you don't like it we walk."

"Walk? I think not. I'm sitting here in a comfortable spot, so we'll just have to sit and talk." Temari shrugged.

"This girl, isn't she, one of the enemy? She's from that accursed village." Shikamaru's father said.

"You mean that our son, has married someone, from the lands that we ransack and pillage?" His mother gasped.

"Uh, yeah it's true, it's something you can't undo, I love her with all of my heart." Shikamaru yawned.

"Yes Shikamaru and me, we're in love and we're free, and you cannot rip us apart." Temari nodded.

"Ramon." Shikamaru whispered.

"Eh?" Temari blinked.

"You're supposed to call me Ramon." Shikamaru said.

"Didn't I?" Temari blinked.

"No you said my real name."

Temari was pretty sure she was blushing, but this time it could be blamed on her mistake at least. "Oh . . . well shut up and ignore it."

"You're so troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

For no reason other than to mess with him, Temari smirked and said, "I love you too."

However it probably wasn't the smarted thing to say because his mother ended up staring at them, her eyes slightly wide and suddenly her gaze over Temari became an appraising glare. Had she heard that or did she read lips? Maybe she was annoyed that they were having a private conversation at all.

Shikamaru coughed into his fist as if nothing were the matter and said, "Well I can see that we two, are troubling you, you must be busy indeed. So we'll just move along, 'think I hear the dinner gong, so we'll be leaving now with all speed."

"Now wait just a tick, that's a mighty fine trick, wedding some Mythical girl." Shikamaru's father said. "Without our blessing no less, that you'd dare to confess, has got my head in a whirl!"

"And if you believe, we'll let you dodge and weave, through the questions that we must now press," His mother added, "then you're a great fool, from your father's end of the gene pool, now be silent as we interrogate our guest."

"Interrogate my wife? Not on your life, I will not allow this to be." Shikamaru said.

"Allow us? Oh dear, let me make one thing clear; she's a danger to all in Fantasy." Shikamaru's mother said. "Now Julia dear tell the truth, or you'll be wasting your youth, rotting away in a dark prison cell."

"Forget that lady, I'm not at all shady, I'm trustworthy, cant you just tell?" Temari scoffed.

"What is it that you, want from our town, what could possibly bring you, all the way down, from your village of Myth where your brothers both reign, what is it that you could hope to gain?" Shikamaru's father asked.

Shikamaru's mother said "Our son has said he loves you, and maybe that's true, but how do we know you can be trusted?"

"Because love conquers all, will break down any wall, the chains never break no matter how rusted." Temari offered.

"That answer is nonsense, that's your first offense, guards take her away!" Shikamaru's mother announced.

A few Hinatas showed up dressed as guards.

"And now our hero with so much to loose, the hero Ramon must suddenly choose, his family or his wife?" Ino narrated.

"Well so long troublesome Julia, it was nice getting to know ya, have a good troublesome, prison life." Shikamaru waved at her.

"Of course he chooses his beloved Julia!" the narrator screamed.

Shikamaru sighed, "Oh all right. Then I suppose I must fight, for my wife so beautiful and true."

"No my love flee, risk not thyself for me, I'll give up my very life for you!" Temari implored him.

"Well if you say so." Shikamaru shrugged. Temari glared at him so he said, "I mean there's no way, I'll forgive what's happened today, I'll come back soon and set you free!"

It took every ounce of her will power not to fight back, knowing that according to the play Julia needed to be captured. "Then I'll wait for you, I know your words are true, I know you'd never abandon me!" Temari said, then Hinata two and three finished dragging her off stage and she yawned. What a sappy scene.

Ino's voice boomed as she narrated and the scene ended, Shikamaru came back and Temari slapped him. "You jerk, it took you two tries to remember you're supposed to want to save me?"

"I was bored, this play is a real drag." Shikamaru sighed. "Why do you care? It's just a play. In real life I wouldn't abandon you, even if you are . . . so troublesome . . ."

Temari grabbed him by the collar and brought his face close to hers . . . so he could look into her eyes that is. "In real life I'd never need you to rescue _me_, I'm the one that rescued _you_, remember?"

Shikamaru just smirked at her, she felt his warm breath on her face and it made her feel all tingly again. "You know as troublesome as you are . . . you're kind of cute when you're mad." He said.

And she _knew_ he was only saying it to mess with her, he wanst even trying to look sincere, still she felt her cheeks begin to burn, she was blushing again, she knew it!

She was just about to throw him into a wall, or punch him in the face when suddenly she heard "Oh they're so cute together!"

Shikamaru's mother had said it, and she clapped her hands. Suddenly stern, "Shikamaru you're fourteen, you don't need to be kissing girls yet!"

Temari frowned, "We were _not_ going to kiss, I am _trying_ to beat him up." She explained for the third time since the sun set.

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Written Word: **Well I am glad that Shikamaru and Temari are in character at least. Gaara I'm well aware of but Ino is okay? Really? Cool. Now I wont say what it is that makes me feel she's wrong, I'll keep my mouth shut, if you don't see it I wont point it out.

To be honest I wanted this to originally remain a pure ninja performance and had no intentions of bringing Shikamaru's mother into things. The story, originally would also span only 10 chapters, however I wanted to do just one more since you all seem to enjoy it so much, and as I thought of a way to stretch the story this is just what popped in my head. I'm not one hundred percent sure of how many chapters I'll have now.

In other words it ends when it ends.

I am pleased if this story can make people laugh out loud, and if others read over their shoulders then at least I know that I've got more readers than I do hits, haha!

Neji and his team were not meant to actually succeed in their escape, I wrote that wrong and I'll correct it at some point. Ino was supposed to say that they "almost" made it over the fence. To me the idea of them successfully escaping is somewhat amusing, but failure brings to mind the words "how in the heck?" they are ninja after all. The idea of them failing to conquer a simple electric fence is more amusing.

And if ShikaTema is the dark side to ShikaIno's light, then I say just call me Darth Grimm.


	11. The Pub

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part XI**

**Scene Prep**

"I don't like you." Temari said suddenly.

Shikamaru faintly smiled and raised an eyebrow at her. He decided to expel not even the small amount of energy necessary to say "whatever" and instead went back to what he was doing; staring at the ceiling as he waited for the next scene to start.

"You hear me?" Temari demanded. "I said I don't like you. We're just friends!"

"Okay." Shikamaru shrugged.

"So tell your mom I wasn't going to kiss you!" The older girl demanded.

Shikamaru didn't bother to respond with words, he rolled over to his side and looked at the big red curtains.

"Shikamaru! Are you listening to me?"

Shikamaru sighed, "You're such a bother, I'm not like my father, I'm not going to jump for some woman's request. This play is almost done, so go have your fun, and leave me to think of a way out of this mess."

"Did you just rhyme at me?" Temari demanded.

"No way, that'd be troublesome." Shikamaru scoffed.

"You did, didn't you?"

"Scene's starting." Shikamaru said, getting up and trying to get away.

"No it isn't!" Temari cried, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

They banged heads again. At least they didn't kiss.

Temari rubbed her head, "You're such a jerk." She groaned.

"Me? What did I do?" Shikamaru scoffed.

**Not Far Off**

"They really are cute together." Yoshino said. "He's more motivated than usual."

Shikaku supposed only a mother would notice what must be an incredibly subtle change in their son's zeal. But as he watched his son flirting with the Suna kunoichi he did notice Shikamaru seemed to be smiling more often, and this caused his father to smile faintly himself, "Sort of reminds me of us when we were younger."

"We weren't quite _that_ young, and it's different when the man is a year or two older than the woman, if the woman is the older one it is just creepy." His wife said.

Shikaku flinched when his son's forehead came into contact with Temari's, "Well they're still young . . . we'll see what happens if they survive all this head banging, let alone survive the hard life of the ninja."

Yoshino scoffed, "Are you kidding? If she can light a fire under his ass and get him motivated I'll start planning the wedding today!"

"You were just yelling at him about not kissing girls until he's sixteen . . ." Shikaku said.

"It'd be different if they were married." His wife said simply.

"But he's fourteen . . ." Shikaku pointed out.

"Don't you play your mind games with me!" Yoshino cried.

"Yes dear . . ." Shikaku sighed.

**Act IX (The Pub)**

Shikamaru wasn't really sure what he was doing for this scene, he'd spent too much time avoiding Ino and trying to think of a way out to actually see her about what the heck she had in mind.

Announcing loudly, as any narrator would, she decreed what was going on loudly in a singsong voice, "Ramon, heart broken at the loss of his Julia now tries desperately to think of a plan! He resorts to going to a pub to drink away his sorrows, and ask his close friends for support."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow and took a look around the 'pub'. Since most of the other actors had been 'killed' he was not surprised to see that most of the characters were played by Hinata, but the two . . . men standing next to him threw him off just a bit.

"What the heck?" He demanded. "These are my closest friends?"

Black Ant just nodded. Crow spun its head on its shoulders, quite possibly for comic effect. Well Shikamaru knew they were out of actors but still . . . these things creeped him out.

"Okay . . . prithee my good man, have you any plan, that might rescue my fair Julia?"

The puppets just sort of stared at him. His eye twitched. "Come now I say, for surely I'll pay, if I can get help from the two o'ya."

Again silence, he faintly heard Ino shouting "whaddya mean they don't talk? You had the crow thingy talk during the Chunin exams!"

"Yeah but that was a lot of trouble, " Kankuro said from far off.

"Ach! Fine, get down there and go with plan B!"

Shikamaru scoffed. Why was it that Kankuro knew plan B and he didn't? What a drag.

Suddenly Kankuro and Gaara walked into the pub from just off stage, Neji and Kiba were with them dressed as masked Anbu, Shikamaru supposed there was a limit to how many Hinata clones could inhabit the stage.

"A cold one barkeep, for we lost little sheep, who come all the way form Fantasy."

"Ach a cool pint for me, nay make it three, and point meself towards a pretty lassie!" Neji said, everyone stared at him. "I . . . I wanted to try actual _acting_." He said.

Ino narrated for his benefit, "Ramon now has a chance, for he sees with a glance, the brothers of his love who was taken. They came to wage war, but nobody opened the door, and their confidence is rather shaken."

Shikamaru shrugged, "I have half a mind, to see if I'll find, help from her brothers over yonder. But if they see me today, their first thought might be to slay, so how do I ask them, I wonder."

Kankuro answered the question, he came over and took a stool next to Shikamaru, Gaara came over and knocked Kankuro's puppets aside so that he could take the seat on the other side. Neji and Kiba were suddenly standing behind him, blocking any chance of escape.

"Well well, we were turned away at the gate, but it would seem that now fate, has decided to give us some fun!" Kankuro said.

"The slime that married our sister, with his lies did he twist her, yes this lazy bum is the one." Gaara agreed.

"Well now my friend, aren't we brothers in the end? Now that I've married your sister so dear?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well I guess that is true, so we wont kill you, but we've still got to beat you to a pulp I do fear." Kankuro said.

Shikamaru smirked, "Well wait now for I've a plan, to help you and your clan, just help me save your dear sibling."

"Make it good Ramon, or we'll rip out every bone, and we don't want to hear any quibbling."

Shikamaru nodded, "I'll open the gate when the hour is late, you'll cause a diversion and then, I'll save the fair maid, and you'll all be well paid, just sign your names here with this pen." Shikamaru said, producing a contract.

"Paid, what a joke! My funny bone's broke, what an amusing little Myth Shinobi!" Kankuro laughed, but Gaara held up a hand to silence him.

"I can't believe my ears, in all of my years, I never thought we would agree." Gaara said to Shikamaru, "But in the end, I'll call you a friend, if you're willing to offer this pact. Julia means so much more, than our little war, so we'll help each other and that is a fact."

Shikamaru nodded, "Then at midnight my brothers, and bring many others, and we'll rescue the beautiful maid!"

"Yeah well I only pray, we can hold the enemy at bay, and how much did you say we'd get paid?" Kiba asked, holding his hand out.

**More To Come . . .**

**Author's Automated Announcement: **I love the fact that so many people are enjoying this story. It makes it worth the time and effort. Yeah I know other words rhyme with Wife, I just didn't edit that last chapter before posting it so you'll probably notice it has more typos than most of the others. This'll be corrected eventually.

I'm surprised Shikamaru's parents are not disliked yet, I had such dread about the last chapter, this one too, but then this may be because both deviate from my original script. I am shocked and _impressed_ by the rhyming talent of Shikamaru's Butterfly. Shikamaru's mother is probably out of character, I meant for her to be somewhat scary, praising or coddling her son one second then suddenly screaming at him but I don't think she spent enough time switching from one personality to the other to really come off as crazy, which is what I was shooting for.

I'm surprised Shikamaru's parents are not disliked yet, I had such dread about the last chapter, this one too, but then this may be because both deviate from my original script. I am shocked and by the rhyming talent of Shikamaru's Butterfly. Shikamaru's mother is probably out of character, I meant for her to be somewhat scary, praising or coddling her son one second then suddenly screaming at him but I don't think she spent enough time switching from one personality to the other to really come off as crazy, which is what I was shooting for. 

Asuma is in the story actually, or at least he is supposed to be in the final chapter along with Baki and a few other adults. I may move their scene to an earlier chapter if I keep continuing this story though, since it's a good scene and I don't want to forget it. Incidentally I let Neji and Kiba have new roles because the story is getting extended.

As for my Darth Grimm crack, a certain reviewer (my friend Sun-Tzu) mentioned around chapter 9 that ShikaTema was the dark side of being a Shikamaru fan, so I pulled a star wars reference out of my hat. I am Darth Grimm, fully immersed in darkness and quite happy to be so. I will _never_ write a ShikaIno story, even a love triangle would be pushing it for me.

Not that I have anything against Ino, she's actually one of my favorite characters . . . actually the shorter list might be the Naruto characters I _do not_ like.


	12. For Peace and Love!

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part XII**

**Back Stage**

Temari sat in a corner watching the play. She was ignorant of the fact that she was smiling as her brothers and Shikamaru made some goofy alliance, she couldn't imagine it in real life, Kankuro and Gaara would leave Shikamaru in the dust, and not just because he was lazy.

Though a small part of her wondered if he'd excel for her sake, as he'd said he would. Then a larger part of her wondered where such thoughts had come from!

She watched Shikamaru, he was mature beyond his years and it sort of threw her off. She sometimes forgot that he was younger than her . . . but then again, it wasn't like it was a huge age difference . . . not that it mattered, it wasn't like she . . . well it just didn't matter!

"Okay, here's what we're doing this next scene," Ino said, "You're going to have a chat with Shikamaru's mom, got it? Try to keep the perversion to a minimum if you can, anyway you're convincing her you're not a spy."

Temari didn't take her eyes off of Shikamaru.

Not that he was important or anything, she was just trying to follow the story he and her brothers were laying out, Kiba had his hand out asking for something and the scene ended, Temari had no idea what was going on thanks to that loud mouthed blonde.

"Now listen up, this is important, you're going to convince Mrs. Nara that you're trustworthy, and I told her to try to end the scene by offering you a chance to prove it, which you'll take, got it?"  
"How'm I gonna prove it? It doesn't lead to the sex scene does it?" Temari sighed.

"No, no sex, just agree!" Ino commanded.

"Fine. Hey when is this going to end?"

"Hinata! Get the props!" Ino screamed, running off and ignoring Temari.

The sand kunoichi sighed and waited quietly. She wanted to perform a test.

As Shikamaru came back stage she extended her leg in front of him, he saw it, kept walking anyway and tripped.

Ah, so he was too lazy to adjust his step. She'd thought so. Or maybe he was checking her out . . . whichever. Either way she felt like she'd scored a point and taught him a valuable lesson about women.

Whatever the heck it was, she didn't really know _why_ she'd done that just now, just that it felt about right.

**Act X (For Peace and Love!)**

Temari sat down across from Shikamaru's mother, who gazed at her appraisingly, "Ah, Julia of . . . wherever, I'd like to know whether, or not you are a spy."

"Oh go eat a stick, I know this is a trick, no matter what you'll say that I lie!"

"Yes that's probably, the most likely, outcome of our little chat. But on the bright side, I would have just died, if I had hair like that."

"How's that side bright? You sayin' you wanna fight? I'll beat you black and blue old girl!" Temari said, reaching for her fan . . . which wasn't there . . . but she did have a prop sword so she drew that and pointed it at Shikamaru's mom. Hey, why hadn't the guards taken her sword away?

"Old? I'm not old! Damn but you're bold, now shut up and listen as my plan I unfurl . . ."

Ino's voice boomed to life, "Alas, and oh no, how will this plan go? What will happen to our heroin? And what of her man, and his silly plan, can true love ever win?"

"Now hear ye my plan, if you truly wish to join my clan, then your loyalty must be put to the test."

Temari frowned and put her sword away. "Yeah sure all right, but if you don't want to fight, not making fun of my hair would work best."

"Just a little fun." Shikamaru's mother smirked.

"Well that's strike one." Temari glared.

"Get over it, child." The older woman glared back.

"Don't drive me wild." The teenager's hand was at the hilt of her.

"Anbu restrain her." Yoshino laughed.

"Eh? What the--" Temari gasped as a pair of strong hands grabbed her.

Okay, so that was Lee.

Two more Anbu appeared next to Shikamaru's mother. She nodded to Temari, "You see if you recall, you're our prisoner after all, and our Anbu are some of the best."

"Okay I give, oh please let me live, please grant my that minor request?" Temari said sarcastically, then threw Lee across the room into Tenten.

Tenten made some whinny comment about Temari always inflicting pain on her, but Lee just kind of held his head and got up.

"Now don't you touch me, I'll be quiet Mr. Lee, and listen to the matron's request."

"Very well then my dear, let me make one thing clear, you can join our village only at my behest. We've just heard tell, that two men you know well, are advancing on this position. Eliminate the enemy Shinobi, and prove yourself to me, with this simple mission."

"Oh heck, is that all? Well I'll just have a ball, beating the snot out of some losers!"

"Is that a fact? Because this attack, is not being led by any old bruisers. The enemy's lead, are your brothers indeed, can you face them and win?"

Temari gasped, "My brothers . . . ah well, For Ramon I'll send 'em straight to hell, for love's sake will I commit such a sin!"

Ino's narration came on, "What do you mean? Why you . . . do you have any idea how badly you've ruined . . . oh is this thing on?"

Temari raised an eyebrow at that, what the heck?

"Uh . . . right, well okay. Then set out today, lead this three man group! Find victory or defeat, turn them to raw meat, and annihilate their entire troop!" Yoshino said.

Temari stood up and punched the air, hiding the fact that she didn't want to even pretend to fight Gaara with forced enthusiasm, "All right then, sounds sweet, I'll never give in to defeat, so let's go beat us some bad guys!"

"My lady, bad news I fear." A new voice said, and another pair of Anbu stepped in and removed their masks as if it were supposed to be significant.

To the leaf Shinobi it seemed to be, "Shino! Sakura! What are you two doing here?"

"We've just come from the wall, and it's about to fall, the Fantasy Nin are attacking!"

"Then move out right away, go make them pay, now is no time for slacking!" Yoshino cried.

Ino appeared in Bemoan guise, and handed Temari a mask and a cloak, "Here put these on, and lead us to some fun, let's fight for justice with honor!"

"Yeah well okay, let's go make them pay, each one of you make one of them a goner!" Temari said, throwing the cloak over herself and putting the mask on.

Hey . . . maybe some day she'd have to become an Anbu, the mask was pretty cool.

"There's just one more thing I'd like to say, to you little child before you go play. Spare no one today, every last one must you slay. If you want my trust, it's really a must."

"I'll let you know when I care, now I'm going out there, to pound down some enemies. I know that Ramon will be happy to come home, and find the land free of fantasies." She cracked her knuckles and jerked her head towards the door, indicating that the others should follow her.

They did . . . Temari grinned, a big battle, this had to mean that the play was coming to an end!

**Next Scene Prep**

Shikamaru regarded the others sternly, "You've got to be joking." He said when he saw the two new faces coming off stage.

"Shino you dog!" Kiba laughed, "How'd you get over your sickness?"

"Prevention is the best cure." Shino said shortly.

Kiba scratched his head, "Say what?"

"What he means," Ino said appearing behind Shino and Sakura with a rolled up script, "Is that neither of them was really sick!" She whacked the both of them in the back of the head and growled, "I cant believe you two!"

"What did you expect?" Sakura demanded, "I didn't want to have to kiss Shino!"

"And I didn't really want to kiss Sakura." Shino said with a slight shrug.

"When we found out we'd both skipped out on the play we had a good laugh together," Sakura admitted, Ino tried to hit her again, but Sakura caught the script and tore it in half. Man that girl was getting to be strong.

"Not that it matters now . . . but do you two have any idea how troublesome you've made my life for the past two hours?" Shikamaru asked.

"What are you talking about? I thought you and Temari were an item anyway." Sakura shrugged.

"We're not." Shikamaru and Temari said together.

"But the way you guys kissed . . ." Sakura gapped.

"You saw that?" Shikamaru groaned.

"The whole village saw it." Shino said with a nod.

Shikamaru sighed. "Well now that Shino is here--"

"It's too late, you started this you're going to finish it." Ino said, shaking her head. "Sakura and Shino are going to play Anbu, in this next scene you're going to--"

"Aw man . . . what a drag." Shikamaru said, not even bothering to listen to Ino as she explained the next scene to everyone. He turned to Temari instead, who was looking at the design on her mask, "Hey Temari, I think I've got a cold, don't you?"

"What?" The older girl blinked.

"They skipped out on the play, I say we do the same thing."

"Where would we go?" Temari blinked.

"Who cares? We'd just get out of here." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Ooh, I think he's asking you out, Temari!" Kankuro teased.

Shikamaru gapped, no way! That was _not_ what he was doing!

Now Gaara was watching him carefully, not really glaring but certainly not beaming, Ino had shut up and was watching him, which turned everyone else's attention to him.

Temari was watching him.

Well that was to be expected, he was _talking _to her for crying out loud, but the way she was looking at him, expectant, curious . . .

"I'm _not_ asking anyone out." Shikamaru drawled, "I just figured if I were going to jump ship I'd see who else wanted a shot at freedom . . . Temari got dragged into this too, remember?"

Temari smiled at him, "No . . . I think we should finish this play off . . . it's almost done anyway."

Shikamaru scoffed, but suddenly Ino had him in a headlock, "She's finishing, so you are too! Don't even think about trying to escape, or I'll make yours a world of pain!" Ino cried.

Shikamaru groaned, "Man Ino, now you're both a literal and figurative pain in the neck!"

**More To Come . . .**

**Stuff the Unworthy Writer Says: **Is it that obvious that I'm having fun with this? Oh no, I'd better say something gloomy . . . uh . . . this story is troublesome.

Just kidding, I really _do _enjoy writing this, as much as (I hope) everyone is enjoying reading it. I hate having to say this because it sounds pompous, but I cant help it; I am amazed by this story. Yes awed by my own work, which makes me sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm not. I'm just really into this story. The way I feel when I write it, and the way others respond to it causes me to believe it has a life of its own, it only lets me _think _I'm planing everything. A couple times I've written two chapters back to back simply because I cant wait to see what's going to happen next, even though in theory I already know how it ends.

And I think I just confused myself.

I wanted Shino and Sakura, the original Ramon and Julia to be involved after I decided to extend the story, but I wasn't sure if it'd be a good idea so late in the game. However it is good to see that the readers feel as I do, and the neglected pair can appear.

We are all immersed in darkness, it is true, and I think as long as we don't form a suicide cult we'll be okay . . . if we do though there wont be any more ShikaTema fans, so our survival is imperative, everyone . . . buckle your safety belts!

ShikaTema rocks! Much appreciation to my reviewers and my many readers.


	13. Lover’s Quarrel

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part XIII**

**More Scene Prep**

Shikamaru pretty much knew where this play was going, Temari's Anbu disguise, the fact that Gaara and Kankuro were now giving one to him.

Yeah, this would all end in tears.

What bothered him more was the fact that his oh so subtle attempt at escape had been misinterpreted as an attempt to get a date from Temari . . . and he wasn't so sure that it hadn't been either, after all what _would_ they have done once they got out?

It was too dark to watch clouds . . . he might try to go to sleep, but he wasn't tired so he guessed they'd probably have ended up going somewhere together and doing something . . . it was a bother but he knew that she'd only have to twist his arm a bit to bend him to her will on the matter.

But he hadn't planned it like that. They were, he guessed, friends. Just friends. They got along well and tried to spend at least a bit of time together whenever she was in Konoha, and he was too lazy to go and visit her in Suna. Sometimes he thought about her when she wasn't around, wondered if he'd see her again and if their villages would still be allies when it happened . . . but he thought about Naruto too, and he certainly didn't want to date Naruto!

It was dangerous, the world of the shinobi, and he might never see her again, might not see Naruto . . . almost certainly wouldn't see Sasuke unless Tsunade-sama was going to be troublesome and assign him to a retrieval mission, and Sasuke hadn't really been his friend anyway. He had a lot of time to think, it didn't mean she was anything special though . . .

He felt eyes on him and suddenly realized Temari was watching him.

What was with her? Oh wait . . . he hadn't had to turn his head at all to see her . . . had _he_ been staring at _her_?

**Final Prep**

Temari fought the urge to hit Kankuro. Shikamaru wasn't asking her out directly, buy she could tell he hadn't been too far off from it. She'd wanted to give him just a tiny push then puppet boy had to ruin everything!

She looked at Shikamaru, he was looking at her, a thoughtful expression on his face. She smiled at him and he seemed to snap out of some daze, he looked startled for a moment, then grinned back at her.

She felt her cheeks beginning to warm, she'd have corrective surgery after this, have the medical ninjas remove . . . whatever it was in her that made her blush so damn much!

She shoved her Anbu mask on-it really was a pretty cool mask-and hid her face.

She wasn't sure that she'd have agreed to go out with him, after all she was older than him so it might not be appropriate, especially since when she turned eighteen he'd be fifteen, when he turned eighteen she'd be twenty one and hell if she wouldn't be married by then.

She'd just wanted to see if he'd ask her out . . . few people had asked her out before, and never in front of Gaara to say the least.

And she wouldn't have really cared about leaving the play early, what did Ino's dream matter to or have to do with her?.

Who knew what that half crazed bimbo would have Temari do next?

**Act XI (Lover's Quarrel)**

Shikamaru stepped out onto the stage and yawned a mighty yawn, man this was troublesome.

The stage had been split down the middle by a small wall, how was Ino changing the sets so quickly? Shikamaru guessed it was mostly Hinata's doing. The poorest member of the village's most prestigious clan: a mere stage hand.

And also every single extra, for as two Fantasy Hinatas fired harmless looking arrows from behind the wall, and the other two Myth Hinatas made lame looking attempts with a battering ram.

Gaara said "We are Shinobi, so that wall should not be, a hindrance to our attack."

"And yet it stopped you before, you need me to open a door, so we can get Julia back." Shikamaru said.

"Here wear this mask, as we go to our task, let not your clan know you've betrayed them." Gaara told him, though really he was explaining it to the audience since Ino had already explained the fact that Shikamaru would be going in as an Anbu too.

"Yeah that idea is good, and I'll wear this cloak and this hood, best too to hide my clan emblem." He said, removing his forehead protector from his shoulder and placing it in his pocket.

"All right man, now go! Open the gates so, we can all ransack this place!" Kiba said viciously.

"We're not here to ransack, we're here to attack, so dog boy just shut your face!" Neji scoffed.

"Now no bickering Anbu, I cant believe you, try to act professional here." Kankuro said.

"Well it's not my fault, I think that poor Walt, shouldn't have had that last beer!" Neji said.

"When you're at a pub, you drink, got it scrub? So don't go'n act like you're my father!" Kiba scoffed.

"Uh . . . Kiba you know, that there's no alcohol in this show, so what you drank was probably just water." Neji pointed out.

Kiba sighed, "It's called acting you loser, I'm not really a boozer, just get on with the play."

"Well what do we have to do? It's all up to you, to open the gates and win us the day." Neji said, turning to Shikamaru.

"Oh . . . I guess it is." Shikamaru nodded. "Well I'm best in the biz, I'll get them open all right!"

"Well if you don't mind, the guard isn't blind, so hurry so we can get in there and fight!" Kankuro said.

Shikamaru quickly dispatched the pair of Hinatas with the ram by jabbing them each in turn in the side with his prop sword, removed his mask and said, "Hello from down here, T'is Ramon and I fear, if you do not open that gate, I shall be overtaken, and turned into bacon, so let me in before it's too late!"

And the guards opened the gate.

It was that simple. In the real world they'd be executed. In fact, they were when a pair of puppets appeared on the wall and eliminated them.

Luckily they'd only been clones. Shikamaru put on his mask and leapt in to attack along with Gaara and the others.

"Now we attack! Hold nothing back! Destroy this stupid old town!" Kankuro cried.

And they were all blown back.

"No we think not. You're gonna' rot, in shallow graves 'cause you're goin' down!" Temari said, dressed as an Anbu and armed with her real life actual fan.

The one that could level a forest.

The one that would turn Shikamaru into mincemeat.

She had to be joking.

She wasn't, she came at them and slammed the huge thing into Gaara's face-his sand protecting him of course-and then swept it out into Shikamaru, knocking him into the wall, Temari was on him, her face very close to his though he couldn't see it.

"Are you insane lady? You're going to kill me, though I guess if you want to that's great." Shikamaru whispered.

Temari laughed, he could almost _hear_ her smirk, or maybe he could just picture it since she did it so damn often. "I say we do this for real, is that a deal? If you win you can take me out on a date."

Shikamaru turned white, and he was glad for the mask. "You . . . you're so troublesome, woman!"

"You're not rhyming." Temari said. "Anyway I'm coming at you for real Shikamaru so if you want to go out, or even want to survive, I suggest you give me everything you've got!"

**Off Stage**

Asuma gave a half smile, "They're certainly energetic."

"I've never seen Hinata sustain so many clones for so long." Kurenai nodded.

"I meant Shikamaru and Temari, just look at them." Asuma said, pointing out the pair as they went about ignoring the actual play and trying to kill one another.

Well mostly it was Temari using her fan as a club, and Shikamaru running for dear life, still Asuma knew that was just something he did when he was trying to think of a strategy and didn't have time to really think.

"Twenty says my kid beats yours." Baki said to Asuma.

Asuma smirked, "I'll take that bet. Shikamaru can be powerful when he's motivated."

The honorable lady Hokage however, probably smelling a chance to gamble from her balcony seat on the other side of the theater suddenly appeared next to Asuma, "I'm offering three to one in favor of Temari, you want in? You want in? I know you want in!"

"Hold up . . . who would you bet on, Tsunade-sama?" Asuma asked.

Tsunade smiled, "Can't tell you that, then you'd already know who loses."

"All right, put me down for twenty on Shikamaru." Asuma said.

"The same for Temari." Baki and Kurenai said.

Asuma looked at Kurenai, he understood Baki backing his own student, but what was her excuse?

Kurenai just shrugged, "Girl power." She said. "Besides, let's face it, she's got three years of experience over him, and he runs out of chakra in less time than it takes for Chouji to decide whether or not he's hungry."

Asuma shrugged. "Shikamaru may surprise you."

"Oh he already has," Kurenai said, "Who'd have thought a lazy kid like Shikamaru would attract a girl like Temari?"

The two men with her smirked and nodded their agreement, behind them however another man made his opinion known.

Kakashi leaned forward and handed Tsunade fifty, "I knew. And what odds do you offer on them tying, Tsunade-sama?"

"Five to one, why?" Tsunade said after a brief moment of thought.

"Because they're going to tie. Put me down for fifty." Kakashi said.

Asuma was intrigued, "Why tie, Kakashi?" He asked.

Kakashi looked at Asuma, his one slightly bored looking eye seemed ever so slightly amused, "While I don't claim to know as much about these students as their teachers, to me it is obvious. Temari is clearly trying to let him win, and he's clearly trying to lose."

"Yes, I'd noticed." Baki said, "Eventually she'll get angry and viciously murder him."

"But before that," Asuma said, "He'll decide the fight is troublesome and finish her off, just like she wants." Asuma said.

Kakashi shook his head, "Or, she decides to kill him at exactly the same moment he decides to finish her off, they knock each other out."

Anko, who was sitting next to Kakashi said "Hey that sounds good, put me down for that!"

"No . . . no I still think Temari is going to win this," Iruka, who was next to Anko said, handing Tsunade some money.

"I say Lee comes in like a Taijutsu hurricane and ends the lover's quarrel!" Gai, who was sitting on the other side of Kakashi said, making a pose that Asuma didn't even want to guess at the meaning of.

"Ch'yeah right," Genma, who was next to Gai, scoffed, "Temari, hands down."

Asuma's grin didn't waver . . . but was he the only one who's be betting on Shikamaru?

**More To Come . . .**

**Writer's Words of Wisdom: **There is nothing terribly wrong with the word "dialect", I didn't mind at all. Now sadly this story is taking place some time before Naruto does come back he wont have a chance to get together with Ino, I'm sorry. I'll take it under advisement if I ever decide to do a sequel, but right now, though I am kicking around some ideas,a sequel is really doubtful.

I'm glad I'm not disappointing anyone, I really am, and I'm glad that my readers are spreading the story to their friends, that is cool beyond words. I'm also glad that Yoshino is not getting on people's nerves yet.

Shika-Tema stories _do_ rock, I generally stick to the Ranma section of this site, but the drawing power of Shika-Tema was **SO **great that I could not resist writing a story for them . . . and of course one of my friends bet me it wouldn't get any reviews so I had to prove her wrong . . . you still reading Cassandra? I'm still getting reviews (nya-nya!)

I'm glad I'm not pompous, usually if I say anything positive about my abilities it seems like I'm high on myself, and I'm not . . . not really . . . sometimes, but not often . . . twice a week maybe. Anyway I love this story and it can be hard to stop writing it, or stop thinking about new rhymes for it. I laterally take notes of napkins at lunch . . . people stare at me.

When I first started writing fan fictions I did it to be stubborn and difficult and because there were no fan fictions I knew of available for the couple I liked so I decided to shove some down the public's throats, I did not actually like writing, though I did love to read. Now I cannot live without writing, so it is nice to know others think I am good at it.

Thanks to all of my kind reviewers, and my loyal readers. Almost a month online and this story has surpassed almost every other I've written so far . . . I really do think it has a mind of its own.


	14. Final Act

**Something Like That . . .**

**Part XIV**

**The Audience**

Tsunade was gathering bets from all over, everyone in the village seemed to be favoring Temari.

"But I wonder what caused them to start fighting in the first place," Shizune said, she'd left her place at the Hokage's box to help Tsunade-sama gather the bets.

"I say it's love. A girl has to give her man a few good whacks, y'know?" Anko said, jumping up and punching Kakashi in the back of the head, "Oops! Sorry . . . that was an accident, it didn't mean _anything_!"

"She makes it sound like we kissed." Kakashi said.

"Well . . . it's Anko." Genma shrugged at Kakashi, Gai was still stuck in his pose.

Tsunade suddenly appeared, "Ten to one, you want in? You want in? Ten to one odds against them being in love!"

Asuma scratched his bearded chin and said "Oh I don't know about that Tsunade-sama, I've never seen Shikamaru smile this often."

"I don't see a smile." Tsunade scoffed.

The design of Shikamaru's mask was in fact an obnoxiously yellow frowny faced deer. It really seemed fitting.

"Actually," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head, "he does seem pretty cheerful. He's even been going along with the rhyming."

"What do you think, Baki?" Asuma asked the Suna Jounin.

"Hmph. Fine if it's what she wants. But she can do better." Baki said with his arms folded.

Kurenai chuckled softly, "You sound like you're her father."

"Well . . . it's true, she can." Baki said. "I don't need to be their father to know these kids."

Asuma looked back at Kakashi, who was still rubbing his head, Anko was eyeing him subtly, either she was ashamed for having hit him, or she was looking for another chance to do so, Asuma decided it wasn't any of his business and he didn't want to know. Instead he asked Kakashi, "How did you decide they'd tie?"

"I told you." Kakashi said, "They'll get bored at the same time and knock each other out. See how Temari is gradually getting more agressive, and Shikamaru is gradually starting to use his comrades as human shields so he can take up his thinking pose for a few seconds at a time? They're both getting down to business."

Asuma smirked, and turned back, he heard Kakashi grunt and Anko cried appologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't know that was _your_ foot!"

**Final Act**

"Just launch any attack, I'll barely fight back, you want to get out of here don't you?" Temari said.

"Yes but get real, I dont like this deal, is what you said really true?"

"That we'll date if you win? Why, is that a sin? Can't a girl make the first pass?"

"No it's not proper for the woman to do so, the man makes the first move no matter how slow, a lad musn't ever lose to a lass."

"Well you're going to lose if you dont take a swing! I'm getting annoyed with this whole thing! If you really dont like me may as well just say!"

Shikamaru was getting kind of tired of this too, it was troublesome.

He'd just beat her already . . . it wasn't like taking her out on a date would be all that terrible. It'd be troublesome, but he'd have to endure it.

Suddenly Rock Lee showed up in between them, he stopped Temari's fan from making contact with Shikamaru's head, and stopped Shikamaru's fist from slamming into Temari's chin.

Quickly calculating the situation Shikamaru determined that had it not been for Lee it would have been a double knock out, he'd better get control of himself.

"Now you two stop, dont blow your top, your fight is a little too rough!" Lee said.

Temari smirked-well Shikamaru couldnt see it under the mask, but somehow he knew she had-and opened up her fan. She tore it free of Lee's grip and swept it out, blowing the taijutsu master off the stage.

Next Temari lunged for Shikamaru, and he threw himself over the wall. She slammed into Tenten, laying the girl flat, then spun and sprang for Shikamaru.

He closed his eyes and threw himself over the wall, Temari came over and he reached up and grabbed her ankle.

He pulled hard, throwing her out of the air and onto the ground, however she spun and landed on her feet, sliding across the stage and glaring at him.

She probably tried to spring again, but it didnt work. She looked confused for only a moment, before realization dawned on her.

Shikamaru grinned darkly, "Shadow Possession Jutsu." He said, confirming her suspicions. He stood up now, the others were still fighting-albeit they weren't _truly_ fighting-and walked towards her.

She stood up and walked towards him.

He drew his fake sword and she drew hers, the audience fell silent, though he heard Tsunade shout "Betting is closed!"

Shikamaru raised his sword and Temari raised hers, she looked confused, "If you do this we'll just stab each other!"

Shikamaru grinned and struck!

Temari, being older and slightly taller . . . had longer arms.

The sword jabbed into his chest, and his fell short of her.

He groaned and fell back, first releasing the jutsu so that Temari would not do the same.

He fell to the ground and groaned a dying groan, Temari was on him in an instant, she grabbed him by the collar and said in an annoyed voice "Well if you wanted to avoid going out with me _that_ badly you jerk-"

Shikamaru whispered, "The play."

Temari stopped and nodded. She reached down to his mask and said, "And now at last, I remove the mask, and see the face of my worthy foe!" She pulled his mask away, "No, no this cant be, my love I've slain thee, oh Ramon I didn't know!" She cried and began to remove her mask.

Shikamaru however struck out with his own sword before she could, she gasped and the mask fell.

Shikamaru now pretended to be shocked, "Julia, my wife, slain by my knife? Oh cursed fate this can't be true!"

"The world fades away, but what can I say? At least I can die besides you." Temari said, slumping forward as death took her.

Her face was very close to Shikamaru's, and she had a certian look in her green eyes.

He could hear Ino sobbing behind her mask as she spoke into the microphone, "And what tragety has struck! It seems the lovers have run out of luck!"

Without really knowing why Shikamaru reached up and pulled Temari down, he kissed her on the lips, her eyes shot wide open for a moment, and then she closed them, leaning forward and passionately deepening the kiss. Shikamaru was too surprised by his own actions, and her response to do anything but stare blankly as he kissed her, before finally closing his eyes as well and wrapping his arms around her.

"Oh but what's this? True love's final kiss, even in death they love one another. But what of the living? Will her brothers be forgiving? And what of our hero's cruel mother?"  
"Cruel?" Shikamaru heard his mother sob from back stage, "I'm not cruel! That ending is cruel, oh why did they have to die? And stop making out with that girl Shikamaru, you're too young! Oh Shikaku hold me, it's too tragic!"

Yeah, it was about that time that he realized he was still kissing Temari, and she was getting her tongue involved in the affair too, so he promptly turned away and whispered, "stop it, we're dead!"

Then they "died" and Temari collapsed atop of him. She whispered into his ear, "you damn tease."

Having her laying atop of him was far less uncomfortable than he would have imagined. He heard his sobbing mother come out on stage and felt the dread that acompanied a slightly irate Gaara standing over him. "It would seem," Gaara said slowly, "that our sister's days are done."

"As are it appears the days of our son," Shikamaru's father said.

"But now I can see the price of this war, and I can't let it go on anymore. I believe peace is what Julia sought." Gaara said.

"The cost is too great, when we give in to our hate, oh if only these two had never fought." Shikamaru's mother wept.

"Then let there be peace, let us become friends . . ."

"A pitty that too late, this bloody war ends . . ."

Ino sobbed into her microphone, "Oh the end of the war, and our story as well, I hope they're in heaven and not in hell."

Shikamaru suddenly sat up, shoving Temari uncermoniously off of himself. "Hey, I'm alive, I just took a dive, it was all just a clever ruise!"

Temari sat up, rubbing her shoulder, "Uh, yeah right a trick, we sure laid it on thick . . . damn now I've got a bruise!" She said, shoving Shikamaru.

He smiled at her, she smiled back, Gaara and Kankuro helped him up, his parents helped her to her feet.

"Now that there's no war, we can be married just like before, but this time with your blessing." Shikamaru said.

"As if he wouldn't recognize me, couldnt you all see? With your heads we were so clearly messing." Temari grinned.

For someone who'd been moved to tears by the death, Ino seemed surprisingly mad now, she wringed her hands together and said into the microphone, "And . . . and true love conquers all, well I guess we'll all have a ball, the lovers survived in the end. But now we are through, we must bid farewell to you, come back and see us next time my friend!"

The audience applauded loudly and the actors all bowed, including several versions of Hinata.

"We did it! We did it!" Lee cried happily, throwing his arms around Tenten and Neji, "Did you see Gai Sensei? We're actors!"

"Stop hugging me." Neji said.

"Whoo! Hear that Akamaru? The like us! They really like us! Oh, you guys were okay too." Kiba said to Hinata and Shino.

"Too bad Sasuke isnt here to witness me in my moment of triumph and fame." Ino sighed. "Of course if he were I'd have been Julia and he'd have been Ramon and the play would have been done properly." Ino said.

"Cha, if Sasuke were here he and _I_ would have kissed, Ino!" Sakura warned.

"Well I'm a little disapointed, if we'd done a bad job they might have thrown food at us." Chouji sighed.

Shikamaru looked at the audience for the first time, it really was the whole village.

Good thing he hadnt looked at them, or he might have been overwhelmed by it all. But man all this attention was troublesome.

He glanced back at Temari, who, along with Kankuro was teasing Gaara by trying to show him how to bow to the crowd instead of just standing there stiff like a board. Their eyes met and she smiled at him, her cheeks were turning red, and he wondered if his were too.

All things considered this play had been troublesome, bothersome, and a drag.

But he was kind of glad he'd participated.

Just kidding.

What a waste of time!

**More To Come . . . **

Yes there is more after this!

**Author's Audacious Comments:** Though I do have one idea for a sequel that might just work, it propells the story from "realm of off screen possibility" to "slightly alternate universe" and that's a step I dont like taking on purpose so I'm still thinking of ideas.

I dont really support Naturo and Ino, I just never thought about it. It literally _never_ occured to me that the two might be a pair and I said I'd be willing to consider it for the sequel since I've got so few working ideas for said sequel and I'm open to new suggestions. Doesnt mean I'll ever even write a sequel, doesnt mean I won't, I'm just toying with the idea in my head and seeing how I feel about it. Perhaps even more important is to see how you readers feel once this one is over.

As far as screen names go GrimmZ is just about it, if you ever see a GrimmZ it is me . . . or a wannabe. I dont really spend too much time on the internet so I never bothered with instant messengers. My E-mail is available on my bio screen though and anyone at all is free to contact me.

I am pretty sure I really am crazy. I am also somewhat proud to say that I am the only person in my family to learn how to ride a bike . . . and honestly **forget** and have to learn again. They say you never forget how to ride a bike, so I guess this makes me special. I think it also qualifies for "crazy".

Nice to know you are still alive Cass (you wanna change your bio? You are starting to worry me) and still reviewing and what not . . . but I will **NEVER** write a ShikaIno/InoShika story. _Ever_. Period. I don't care how many reviews I would get from it. The only reason I request reviews for this story was to shut you up about ShikaTema having no fans, which it clearly does so haha! I win!

Well I hope the story is not losing steam, perhaps it can make a come back in the next chapter with the after-show nonsense, but who knows? Really it is quite an honor to know that people who dislike the pairing still like the story, and I am glad that everyone is still in character . . . though we will have to see if that holds true in the next chapter . . .


	15. Dinner for Two or Twenty?

**Something Like That**

**Dinner for Two . . . or Twenty?**

**On Stage**

The Konoha and Suna ninja bowed, Neji pried himself away from Lee only to have Tenten glomph onto him, "Check it out! They love us! They love us!"

"You two are so troublesome!" Neji said.

"Hey that's my line." Shikamaru scoffed.

"It just seemed the right thing to say." Neji said, gesturing to his two comrades, Lee threw his arm around Neji's shoulders and gave the audience a "thumbs up" as if posing for a picture.

"All right, I'll grant you that . . . this time." Shikamaru admitted.

There was a strange moment of calm when the young ninjas came back to themselves, the intoxiation of being so heavily applauded gently waring off.

It was only the calm before the storm as reporters rushed them!

"Mister Nara, Mister Nara, Shikamaru-kun these fliers claim that the Hokage's aprentice Sakura, and the talented Shino would be playing Ramon and Julia, why the sudden change?" One of the reporters asked.

Shikamaru cleared his throat, "Sakura and Shino ditched at the last minute . . . to be married in secret."

"Miss Yamanaka, Miss Yamanaka, how did you come up with such a brilliant variation of the classical play?" One man asked.

"Dedication, blood, sweat and tears went into this work of art!" Ino cried.

"Well _I _had the idea to just improvise for everything-" Kiba was saying, but Ino slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Shino, Sakura, what do you say to the rumors that you skipped out on the show to be married in secret?"

"Cha, yeah right!" Sakura cried.

"Did you hear that, folks? Confirmation! They _were_ married!" The reporter said in shock.

"What? No we're not! We're fourteen! I meant 'yeah right' in a sarcastic way!" Sakura cried.

Shikamaru smirked, that's what those two got for showing up late and making him play the lead.

"Ino baby, darling, who designed these authentic looking costumes your actors wear?" One female reporter wearing an extremely fashionable dress demanded.

"They're our regular cloths." Kiba said, but she shoved him asside.

"I did! I did, it was me!_ ME!_" Ino cried.

"Shikamaru, Temari!" one reporter demanded, "is it true that you two have a secret relationship off the stage?"

"Who the hell are you?" Temari demanded, "If I had a secret _anything_ I wouldn't just tell you, if I did how would it be a secret?"

"Does that mean that your denial is actually a confirmation?" A reporter demanded.

"I dunno, does your persistance mean you want to die?" Temari asked, leaning on her fan.

"Shikamaru, Shikamaru, what's it like kissing a girl who's so out of your league it isn't even funny?" One reporter asked.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru with a shrug and no hesitation.

"Ino, what do you say to the rumors that you and your troop of actors will be performing this very play before the Daimyo of the great countries at the next great conference?"

"The heck is a great conference?" Ino demanded.

"It's a conference. It's really great." Shikamaru said sarcastically and Temari snickered.

**Back Stage . . . for the last time . . . kind of sad really**

Shikamaru stretched, it was long after sunset, but there was still a few hours left before he needed to go home and sleep.

He just didn't have any idea what he'd _do_ for that span of time.

He noticed Temari walk by with some of the other girls, chattering away. Damn women were so . . . well they were women and they sure were _something._

"This was so much fun!" Tenten said, "I don't even care that Temari-chan kept beating me up!"

"Did I?" Temari blinked in surprise.

"You mean you didn't notice? Asside from when you were banging heads with Shikamaru, anytime you inflicted pain on another being it was Tenten. You _really_ didnt notice?" Sakura asked.

"Not really." She said. The others kept on walking, laughing but Temari broke off from the group and came over to Shikamaru.

"Hey," She said, "Everybody is going to celebrate the success of the play by having dinner at some weird ramen place . Ino says she'll pay."

"Yeah I know. What I don't know is how they'll seat everyone, they've got about six stools." Shikamaru yawned. "Well it's troublesome, but I guess I'll go, I _am _hungry."

Temari smiled at him, "We don't _have_ to." She said.

Shikamaru smirked at her, "You feel like some korean barbecue instead?"

"How many people in the party?" Temari asked.

"Just you and me." Shikamaru said, looking at Temari, trying to gauge her response.

She seemed as if she'd respond positively, but then she said "Oh I don't know. Might not look too good, you're still just a kid after all." Temari said.

"So're you . . . for a few more months." Shikamaru said.

"True . . . so I guess it _is_ appropriate . . . for a few more months." Temari said. She smiled at him, "Alright. As long as it's just you and me."

"You mean we can't come?" Kankuro demanded suddenly.

"No you cant!" Temari said. "How long were you listening to us?"

"But . . . we have to make sure he respects you." Gaara said.

"I can beat him bloody with both hands tied behind my back if he tries anything I don't _like_! So go eat ramen!" Temari commanded.

Her younger brothers exchanged dubious glances, then nodded and went off with the rest of the cast. Temari looked back at Shikamaru and collected herself, "Are you asking me out on a date, Nara Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru's smirk grew, "Well since you can can beat me bloody with both hands tied behind your back, I guess I'd better say 'yes' . . . you troublesome woman."

**At The BBQ**

Shikamaru was a little nervous, he hadn't come here before without Asuma sensei or his team . . . he'd certainly never brought a girl here before . . . of course he'd never brought a girl anywhere, this was his first date! Was this even a good place for a date?

He saw Chuunin Examiner Mitarashi Anko, and Naruto's teacher Kakashi sitting together, Kakashi didn't look completely certain but Anko said "C'mon Kakashi, letting me take you out to dinner is the least I can do for accidentally punching you, and stepping on your foot, and then tripping you so that you fell on your face! It's not like this is a date or anything, I'm just trying to make amends!"

Shikamaru smirked, so at least he and Temari weren't the only odd couple here. Not that they were a couple . . . just like Kakashi and Anko, this wasn't really a date.

They were friends, they had been for some time now, they were just . . . just hanging out.

If they held hands, or kissed or something like that, then it was a date. But they werent, so obviously-

Temari squeezed his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Damn.

_Time to face facts. You're on a date. You will not say 'troublesome' out loud, and you will keep your eyes above her neck._ Shikamaru thought to himself, remembering some of the dating tips his parents had always given him, even though he'd done his best not to listen.

**Not Far Off**

"She's holding his hand! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, ohmygosh!" Ino squealed, jumping up and down energetically.

"I dont get it, why'd you rat your sister out to us and tell us she was going on a date with our teammate?" Chouji asked.

"Because she wouldn't let us come." Kankuro said simply.

"But if it's a date they probably just want to spend a quiet evening together . . . alone." Chouji said.

"Like we'd let 'em." Ino and Kiba scoffed at the same time.

"And why are you here, Kiba?" Chouji asked.

"Look man, I dont have a girl friend, I've never been on a date . . . I have to live through Shikamaru right now, and as sad as it is at least I know when I go on my first date I wont screw it up as badly as he does here."

"Actually he's doing all right." Sakura said.

"And why is she here?" Chouji asked.

"Doing all right _so far_." Tenten said.

"And her too! Why is _she_ here?" Chouji complained.

"They're girls. They care about this kind of thing." Shino said.

"And why are _you_ here? Why is _everyone_ here?" Chouji asked.

"Because we're romantics at heart, and we'll all do our part, to make sure these two can find love."

"Lee, why are you still rhyming?" Neji demanded.

"Because it's great fun, just try an easy one, beneath the starts spaklling and shining!" Lee said.

Chouji shook his head, "Seriously, her brothers have an excuse, and Ino and I are on his team, but how do the rest of you guys justify being here?"

Hinata raised her hand, "Um . . . because we're their friends and we want to make sure they don't get hurt? There are weirdos out after dark you know."

Everyone stared at her, "That doesnt even work as an excuse if we get busted, Hinata!" Kiba said, "Just admit it, we're all here because we're dying to see how far Shikamaru gets with Temari."

"Agreed." Most of the Shinobi present said, the exception being Gaara and Chouji.

Gaara just sort of nodded his head, and Chouji shook his.

"Look I'm not saying I'm not curious, but isnt a group this big going to have trouble following them without being noticed?" Chouji asked.

Ino frowned and put down her binoculars. She counted on her fingers for a moment then said, "All right, new plan! We're splitting up! Go by teams, Sakura you're with Chouji and me, try not to get us spotted with that great big warehouse sized forehead!"

"I won't!" Sakura said. ". . . and quit making fun of my forehead!"

**Bit Later . . .**

Temari smiled as she and Shikamaru walked together in the light of the full moon in Konoha.

She'd love to show him Suna some day, but she knew he'd be too lazy to ever go out there and see her. Konoha was all they had.

Not that it mattered, after all this was just a practice date, to get her ready for the real thing . . . since she went on so few dates, when she really did find the guy that she was destined to be with she wanted to know how to behave on a date.

It'd be kind of like this, only the guy would be her age.

Maybe. Really what was age if not a mere number designed around reminding one how long they had to live?

She squeezed his hand, and she was pleased when he squeezed hers right back. Judging by the moon's position in the sky it was getting late.

She didn't care. She wasnt tired at all.

She heard something familiar, the rustling of sand.

"Stop shoving!" Gaara's annoyed whisper.

"I didn't mean to, I almost fell!" Kankuro said.

Temari shook her head and sighed. She looked up at the tree branches above them, there was some rustling.

"Shh! Shh!" Gaara shushed Kankuro.

There was silence for about two seconds, and then "Do you think she sees us?" Kankuro asked.

"Forget it Kankuro, she can hear us at least! If only you'd learn to shut up!" Gaara hissed.

Temari put her hand on her head and said "Hey we've got company."

Shikamaru nodded, "Yeah, I know." He said, reaching behind a park bench and pulling Ino out by the collar, "It was nice while it lasted though."

"Oh-ho-ho, don't you kids mind us!" Ino said, laughing nervously.

**More To Come . . .**

**Director's Commentary:** Originally the final chapter they weren't shown actually _going_ on a date. Temari would agree to go with him, the crew at the ramen place notices they're not there and does nothing, we fade out and then the actual ending events happen, the ones that keep getting put off. That's how it was supposed to happen, but when I was writing it I thought, "hey, let's just go for it and see what kind of fun we can have" so I did. Really this didnt give details on the date either. Didn't feel like it had to, I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out, and this does mean a couple extra chapters, more time to decide whether or not I want to do a sequel, and more material to work with if I do. The sequel of course still being quite unlikely.

But man what a lot of reviews for last chapter, I dont even think I can respond to all of them without doubling the length of this one!

Well yeah, Temari and Shikamaru forever, don't ever let the man get you down, huzza for you readers and fans! To the fans who rhyme, excellent, we can start an army of Shika-Tema rhyming stories!

To those who've read the whole thing in one sitting, or late at night when they should be sleeping I hope it wasn't_ too_ long. To everyone who just read and really liked the story, thanks for your support. This story isn't the biggest thing to ever hit this site, but it's certainly the biggest I've ever written, and it's not really even that long compared to some of my other works!

I really do think it has a mind of its own, especially when it was supposed to be over after ten chapters, now we're looking at at least one more, possibly two, and even the possibility of a sequel.

It's really great to have written this, and it's great to see that so many people enjoyed it, the rhymes sadly weren't really necessary for this chapter (though Lee is keeping the flame alive, he'll get help from a few others in the next chapter too) and I really didn't think there'd be any response, let alone a positive one to the tiny little bit of Ank/Kakashi but hey, if the story can scratch two itches that's cool with me.

Cheers!


	16. Just Kiss Her!

**Something Like That  
****Part Sixteen  
****Kiss Her Already!**

**Where We Left Off Last Time . . .**

Shikamaru's eye twitched, "How long have you guys been following us?"

"Since the start my dear friends, and the means are justified by the ends, we were spying on you for a good cause!" Lee said, then looked expectantly at Neji.

"I'm not going to rhyme with you, Lee." Neji said, folding his arms.

"You two should just kiss, and it'll end all of this, it's something we all just want to see!" Tenten said.

"Tenten!" Neji gasped, sounding annoyed and betrayed.

"Are you guys still rhyming?" Temari asked. "The play's over."

"And didn't you lechers see us kiss enough during it?" Shikamaru demanded.

"Well what the hey, yeah you kissed in the play, but we want to see some more." Kiba said.

"But no tongue understand? Or it'll be death by sand, dont think that our sister's a whore!" Kankuro said.

"You too?" Gaara sighed.

"What? It's catchy." Kankuro shrugged.

"We are _not_ doing this for the rest of our lives." Gaara stated firmly.

"Ah what the hell, you think he can ring my bell, with all of you perverts staring?" Temari demanded.

"You too?" Shikamaru blinked.

"What?" Temari asked. "It's fun!"

Shikamaru sighed, smiled faintly and said, "Well fine if we must, though this date's a bust, seeing all of you has made me stop caring."

"What? No fair!" Temari protested.

"Well no need to fight, just give her a kiss goodnight, and we'll call this whole thing a success!" Sakura said.

"Kiss her? You're joking! What are you smoking? You're all making this a big mess." Shikamaru said.

"Are you children on drugs?" An old woman asked suddenly. "Why are you all rhyming? Why are you all out here at this hour, you look like ninja--" she gasped, "are you a gang?"  
"They're not on drugs, they're just rhyming." Neji said. "Well . . . most of them arent on drugs." He added, looking at Lee.

"Look Mina, it's the Yamanaka Talent Troop, they must be rehersing for the next play, you kids were fantastic!" The old woman's husband said, leading his wife away.

She left mumbling about actors using too many drugs.

"When the heck did we become the Yamanaka Talent Troop?" Shikamaru demanded of Ino.

"Don't change the subject, kiss Temari!" Ino said, looking around shiftily.

"Well I just dont see, why can't you kiss me? I thought this date was going rather well!" Temari said.

"I cant do it with a crowd, and don't be so loud, I uh . . . oh hell!" Shikamaru said and he grabbed Temari.

Didn't kiss her though. Couldn't.

Temari waited, and waited. He just kind of looked at her, tried valiently to kiss her . . .

But he didnt.

Couldnt.

He knew they'd stop being friends if he did that.

At least they'd stop being regular friends, they'd become boyfriend and girlfriend, damn this whole dating thing was a bad idea!

She was looking at him expectantly, after a long time with no action there were some annoyed remarks and Temari looked a little pissed.

"For crying out loud--fine, _I'll _do it myself already!" Gaara said.

Shikamaru frowned, Gaara was going to do it? He was going to kiss his sister? Or was he going to kiss Shikamaru?

Shikamaru wasnt sure which idea he hated more, another guy kissing Temari-and he didn't know why that botherd him, they were just friends-or he himself getting kissed by a guy.

In the end he decided that both ideas were equally distubing. He would just kiss Temari himself . . . but he couldnt do it!

He had an excuse when they were doing the play, but now . . . if he kissed her . . .

He heard the sound of stirring sand and suddenly felt something pushing him forward.

He pressed against Temari and his head was forced towards hers, the kiss was poorly aimed and landed on her nose, but she moved her lips into line with his.

There were some cat calls from Kiba and Kankuro, but as Shikamaru glared at them they were shut up by Gaara and Ino.

So that's what Gaara meant by he'd do it himself.

Well . . . Shikamaru kind of hoped the youngest sand sibling helped him out again sometime . . . wait what the heck was he thinking? Temari was just a friend! Just a friend!

**On The Other End . . .**

Temari leaned into the kiss that Shikamaru was giving her, he wasn't very responsive at first but once the cat calls died off his arms held her tighter and he deepened their kiss.

Temari opened her mouth for him and he responded in just the way she'd hoped, they swapped tongues for a few moments as a girl-probably Ino, but Temari wasn't paying attention-said "H-hey, you guys can stop now, don't you need to breathe?"

Temari just closed her eyes tight and pretended no one else was there, that it was just the two of them.

She wanted more, she wanted him, she didn't care if he was younger, she knew she was wrong, she'd burn in hell for this, get him in trouble with his parents but none of that mattered, all that mattered was how she felt and . . .

And she found herself taking his hands . . . and then running.

"Where are we going?" Shikamaru asked.

"We're finishing this in private!" Temari said, looking back at him and winking.

"I hope you don't mean what I think you mean, because I'm fourteen and I don't really think I'm up to something like that!" Shikamaru said.

Temari slowed and stopped. "Jackass." She sighed. "Anyway I wasn't going to do _that_!" She lied, "I just meant the date."

"Oh . . ." Shikamaru said. "Well we've put some distance inbetween us and them. If you want I guess we could . . . but I dont know what else there is to do."

Temari sighed.

"But . . . tomorrow there should be clouds." Shikamaru said.

"So?" Temari asked.

"You could watch them with me if you wanted to." Shikamaru said. "And maybe we'd eat lunch together."

Temari smiled. "I'd like to, but we're leaving Konoha tomorrow, we were only here for the Chuunin exams . . . they're over now so . . ." She looked down, "I guess I won't have any reason to come back to Konoha at all unless I've failed the exam . . . or I'm sent on a mission."

Shikamaru frowned. "Yeah. I guess so."

Temari put her hands on her hips, "I guess this is good night then." She said, turning towards her brothers, who were clearly waiting.

"Yeah." Shikamaru said thoughtfully.

"Hope I wasn't too troublesome." Temari smirked.

Shikamaru grinned back at her, "You're always troublesome, woman."

They laughed, so . . . at least they were friends. Maybe they'd never get to be more than that. Maybe they shouldn't be.

He was probably thinking the same thing about her.

He'd be too lazy to visit her in Suna. If anything happened between them it'd have to happen in Konoha. She'd have trouble getting away once she became a Chuunin, ninja from different villages werent generally all that welcome in other villages without written permission anyway so really he'd have dificulty seeing her even if he wanted to come to Suna.

In another year she'd be eighteen and even dating him would be wrong, she needed to stop thinking about this and just get on with her life . . .

She could always just take lots of missions that'd bring her close enough to Konoha to justify sneaking in for a quick visit or something.

Who knew?

**The Next Day . . .**

Shikamaru sighed weakly as he watched Temari and her group getting ready to leave.

Ino jabbed him in the rib cage, "Aren't you going to kiss her goodbye?"

Shikamaru scoffed.

Everyone from the play was there to see the sand trio off, Asuma-sensei was there, talking to Temari's sensei Baki or Buki, or whatever his name was.

Shikamaru thought he saw their gaze fall on him as Asuma said something that made Baki grin, the two men nodded, shook hands, and parted ways.

Asuma slapped Shikamaru on the shoulder and said "Everyone else's said goodbye. Arent you going to?"

Shikamaru rubbed his shoulder and walked over to the sand siblings.

"Thanks for helping us out with the play." He mumbled.

Gaara nodded, Kankura grinned and said "Thanks for reminding our sister she's a girl."

"A girl who can kick your ass!" Temari snapped.

Kankuro snickered and backed off. Shikamaru looked at Temari . . . she really was beautiful.

"Kiss her you dumbass!" Hinata, of all people suddenly shouted.

Shikamaru just smiled at Temari, "Well I guess I'll see you around pineapple hair."

Her eyes flashed, but then she smiled and said "Yeah, later days crybaby." She said.

Their eyes met and both knew there were things to be said that couldnt be said, things to be done that couldnt be done.

But they were ninja, masters of deception. She smiled and he smiled, they parted ways and that was that. She looked over her shoulder once as they left.

But only once.

Shikamaru sighed when they were out of sight and turned back to the others.

Everyone was staring at him either directly or indirectly.

Ino gapped at him. "Th-that's it?"

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

"You're not going to kiss her, or ask her to marry you? You just call her a name and send her on her way? That's it? What the hell, man!" Ino demanded.

"Calm down Ino." Asuma-sensei said.

Shikamaru shrugged, "It's too troublesome. I'm only fourteen after all, why should I get married? Temari is just a friend."

"Really?" Chouji asked skeptically.

"Yeah." Shikamaru nodded. "I mean we just kissed because of the play."

"I still don't know how someone as lazy as you became a Chuunin!" Ino cried.

Asuma smirked, damn it why did so many people have to smirk? Shikamaru wanted to erase the word "smirked" from the dictionary.

His sensei said "Well while we're on that subject, Ino . . . you and Chouji passed your exams, you're Chuunin now."

"Finally!" Ino cried, "Hear that Sakura?"

"Sakura passed too." Asuma said.

"Oh . . ."

"Shikamaru, now that your teammates have passed . . . if you wanted to you could apply for a job as an examiner."

"Why would I want to do that?" Shikamaru asked. "It's such a drag."

"Well it's just something you might consider . . . if you wanted to see Temari-chan more often."

Shikamaru scoffed.

But inwardly began to consider it.

It'd be troublesome . . . but maybe he could do it.

"Yeah," He said at length, "Why not? It'd get me out of doing troublesome missions, wouldn't it?"

"Some, I suppose." Asuma said, and took a puff of his cigarette.

"Yeah. So I'll do it for that." Shikamaru said. Asuma smirked again.

Yeah . . . Shikamaru hated smirking. It made him think of Temari.

**Outside Konoha . . .**

"So . . . I thought you should know how you did on the Chuunin exams." Baki said.

And Temari found herself not caring. If she passed that was great, but if she failed she'd be able to come back to Konoha the next time the Chuunin exams were held there . . .

Either way she won.

"Passed." Baki said, "Every one of you. With flying colors no less, you'll be Jounin in no time, but then again you are the children of our late Kazekage."

Temari smiled weakly, well at least she'd passed.

She'd hardly ever see Konoha again . . . well it didn't matter, right? After all Suna was her home . . . she was a patriot, Konoha sucked because it wasn't Suna, that's right!

Aww damn.

She felt a little tear lining her eye, she rubbed it away furiously.

"You okay, sis?" Kankuro asked.

"Y-yeah! Just some sand in my eyes . . . keep your sand to yourself, Gaara!" Temari said.

Her younger brother glared at her lazily and without real malice, and nodded.

"Sorry." He grunted.

"Temari . . ." Baki said slowly, "You know . . . there's need for a go-between for Suna and Konoha. You'd travel in between villages to coordinate things like the Chuunin exams. In fact you'd have an opportunity to work closely with the Chuunin examiners in Konoha."

In Konoha? Well . . . maybe . . .

"Why are you offering Temari the job instead of Gaara or me? We're more talented . . . I'm not as hot tempered as they are." Kankuro said.

"I heard from the leaf village Jounins," Baki said, ignoring Kankuro and looking at Temari, "that their Hokage plans to offer a promotion to that young Chuunin . . . what was his name? Nara? He'll be an examiner. So at least there'll be a familiar face if you wanted the job."

Temari smiled. "Hm. I'll have to think about it." She said.

"Think about Nara's more like it." Kankuro scoffed.

"You want some of this?" Temari demanded, threateningly waving her fan at him.

"A job like that," Gaara said, "Would be really . . . troublesome."

"You too?" Temari scoffed. "Boys." She scoffed again.

Kankuro laughed, and both her brothers said together, "Troublesome woman!"

And Temari chased them. Even though Kankuro could probably match her, even though Gaara could utterly kill her they ran from her and her fan.

And they got back to Suna a whole day ahead of schedule.

**Ze End!**

but not really

**1 More To Come!**

**Writer's Comment:** I hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it, but it is finally at an end. I am not totally happy with this chapter as the ending feels kind of off, but maybe that is just because I secretly dont want to end it? I dunno, but I felt like I should post it. This may be the only chapter that I actually go back and change right before posting the final one.

The last chapter coming up is what I like to call an Aftershock chapter, it's not technically part of the story itself, it's just a little . . . well, aftershock.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and showed that there were fans of the pairing, and fans of the story. I couldn't have asked for a better audience, I'm glad that through this story I've not only learned to rhyme, but encouraged others to do so as well, it's pretty neat.

So rhyme, all of you that rhyme, don't get turned into a mime, make sure you never lose that gift of rhyme, as days go by and passes the time, remember forever these words of mine, always rhyme for at lease one line.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but whatever. Thanks to those who eagerly reviewed every chapter, thanks to those who made suggestions to make it even better, thanks to you who made me wake up early in the morning and realize I needed to actually post the next chapter, and thanks to those who read even though they did not like the pairing, and left positive reviews anyway.

Everyone have fun, hope you will be back to read the Aftershock!


	17. AFTERSHOCK: The Interview

**A Note:** This was done months ago . . . I'm sorry. I just wanted to hold off on it until I was certain I'd be doing the sequel (and had a few of its chapters finished), so I could announce here that it would be called "Nothing Like That" . . . so yeah . . . read this and be prepared for the sequel. Though it is rather silly to do this with a fan fiction, this story is unofficial, it does not hold any relevance to the sequel or "Something Like That" it's just . . . something I felt like doing. I guess you could call it Filler . . . except it's all fan fiction anyway isnt it? So it's all below even filler material . . . how sad.

**Something Like That . . .**

**AFTERSHOCK!**

**About Ten Years After The Play . . .**

"How's my make up? Good? How's my hair, am I good? Good? Okay, good. What? Oh uh are we on? Are we rolling? Uh, yeah I am young up and coming reporter whose name isn't important enough to say, and I'm here with my camera crew outside the Konoha Auditorium where the famous, or shall I say infamous Yamanaka Talent Troop is going to be performing their classical variation of the fantastic play, The Emperor and I. And . . . yes, here they come, I can see the famed Rock Lee, yes it's Lee! Here he is, oh I could just kiss him, except his eyebrows are scary so I won't!" The little reporter jumps up and down, the camera bobs up and down as well in an attempt to follow the movements.

"Lee! Lee! Hey bushy browed freak-ass!" The reporter screams.

Lee comes over, "Yes? How can I help you?"

"Mister Lee, Lee, can you give me an exclusive interview which would propell my career to a point at which I am worthy of mentioning my name?"  
"What's your name?"

"I'm not worthy!"

"Wait, you're Kiba's sister--"

"Shut up! I'm not worthy!" Hana, the reporter screamed.

"Uh . . . you creep me out. But I'll give you an interview if you complement my eyebrows." Lee said.

The reporter stares at him for a very long while before saying "Y'know most people just want me to touch them inapropriately for an interview, cant I just do that instead?"

"Complement the brows!" Lee commands.

"I cant, they're too creepy!" Hana cried.

"Then the Handsome Devil Rock Lee has no time for you." Lee said, sweeping his hands over his eyebrows and moving on.

Hana frowned and looked back into the camera, "Well folks, that didn't work out. Why the hell did I quit working as a vet? Uh, anyway here comes . . . yes, it's Ino! Ino! Ino over here!"

"Ah, an autograph? Anything for my adoring public." Ino sighed.

"Ino!" Hana cried, "Ino, I don't want an autograph, I'm curious, do you have time for a quick exclusive interview with me?"

"Don't you have anorexic ducklings to feed or something?" Ino scoffed, "Besides, **The Ino** does not like it when underlings and fans refer to her _directly_, **The Ino** would prefer you direct all questions and comments to her servant."

Chouji waved, "Yeah, sorry about that Hana, she's just kind of . . . y'know, high on herself now that she's famous."

"Hah! High on herself? You mean Ino does drugs?" Hana cried, "At least that's what the people watching at home will think if I dont get my interview!"

"Uh . . . yeah . . . anayway see you later, Hana." Chouji said.

"**The Ino** is too good to care what viewers at home think." Ino scoffed and headed into the aduitorium.

Hana slouched, "Uh . . . well here comes Tenten, hi Tenten."

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh you're talking to me! You're talking to me? Oh my gosh uh let's do an exclusive interview right now, okay?" Tenten asked, jumping up and down.

Hana scoffed, "Yeah right, like anyone would care about an exclusive with _you_, meat ball head!"

And so Tenten stomped off pouting, then mysteriously a rock hit Hana in the head.

Hana sighed, "And folks it looks like the Talent Troop is too _good_ for interviews . . . except Tenten and who cares about her? Oh wait, here come Shikamaru and Temari, Kenji keep the camera rolling or I'll tell your wife you slept with her sister-what do you mean I'm a bitch and we're live? You mean I won't get to edit this later? Aw crap! Anyway Shikamaru! Temari!"

"What?" Shikamaru sighed.

"You do know we have a play to get to, right?" Temari sighed.

"Do you have time for an exclusive interview with me?" Hana asked.

"No." Shikamaru said. "But then again, **The Ino** is getting on my nerves so . . . you wanna skip the show, Tem?"  
"Oh sure, that'd be lovely." Temari nods.

"Oh yes!" Hana cries, "So, uh, Shikamaru, Temari, uh are the rumors true? Are you two married?"  
"What rumors? We've been married for a few _years_ now Hana." Temari said.

"We've got kids." Shikamaru pointed out.

Hana stared at them, "Y-you guys cant even play along? I mean we're live here."

"Just ask us some questions before this becomes even more troublesome than the play." Temari warned.

"Uh okay . . . so how did you two meet?"

"It was a dark and stormy night-"

"The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue sky-"

The two looked at each other, "It was a dark and stormy night during which the sun was shining brightly," Shikamaru decided.

"I, being the heiress of a vast fortune came to Konoha to inspect my family's holdings," Temari went on, "When I was kidnapped by evil beavers."

Shikamaru nodded, "I fought them off with my awesome sword of justice."

"And then we made love right there in a feild of wild flowers." Temari added.

Hana stared at them, "You guys are just screwing with me arent you?"

"No, no we're not, it's all true!" Temari said, "Anyway it was after that that we began our long hard war against the beavers, as you know Shika-kun here has his brave army of armored reindeer."  
"I've got my what now?"

"Reindeer, darling. And they fly around, remember?"

"How could I forget." Shikamaru nodded, "Yes after thirty three years of arguous warfare Temari and I triumphed, and her brothers allowed me her hand in marriage."

"Okay, neither of you is even close to being thirty three yet, so how could you have fought for thirty three years?"

"Hey, don't be dissin our love story, woman!" Temari warned and drew forth her fan, "Anyway that's how we met. Any other questions?"

"Well . . . how is your relationship?"

"In all honesty it's an off and on relationship." Shikamaru admitted.

"Yeah, he gets off and I tell him to get back on or else I'll break his wrist." Temari nodded.

"So do you guys ever offer up ideas for plays?"  
"Well we get to do whatever we want to on stage anyway, so y'know . . . whatever. Ino can dictate some nonsense but in the end we the actors just do what we feel like doing. Remember that time when we were doing that play by Juraiya, Through The Peeping Glass, and Hinata was playing Anice and you were supposed to be the cat, Tem-chan?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah . . . well Ino never told me that cat wasn't supposed to initiate hot lesbian sex with Anice, so what the heck? Besides I was kind of drunk and--"  
"You don't drink, Temari." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Uh yeah, not since I dressed up like a cat and initiated hot lesbian sex with Hinata."

"Which incidentally was the reason we got married." Shikamaru added, "Her performance . . . moved me."

"Shut up. Hinata still acts weird about it." Temari said.

"Wait a minute, there never was such a play!" Hana said.

"Or _was_ there?" Temari smirked.

"You never had hot lesbian sex with Hinata!" Hana went on.

"Or _did_ I?" Temari asked.

Hana stared at Temari, "Well what about your kids, can you guys not feed me a six pack of lies about them?"  
"We've got a girl and a boy, if you want us to stay honest best not go farther than that." Shikamaru said.

"Our daughter is cursed to be a hawk by day, our son a wolf by night." Temari blurted, Shikamaru put a hand on her shoulder and she sighed, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry . . . our girl turns into a seagull and our son a beagle. But hawk and wolf sound so much cooler, y'know?"

"Um . . . so any more children in the future?"

"Well Shikamaru says two is enough, but I for one would like to shoot for a third." Temari says.

"She's lying, that's just something she says because she's a sex addict and claiming that we're shooting for a third child gives her an excuse to keep me going."

"Shh! That's private!" Temari laughs.

"But everyone knows you're a sex adict, Temari-san." Hana points out.

"Yeah but I don't like to advertise." Temari scoffs.

"Well can you tell me something that nobody knows about you guys?" Hana asks.

"Secret? Well . . . while Shikamaru and I were dating . . . everything you're not supposed to do with an underage date . . . yeah we had a check list and we did it all!" Temari said, throwing her fist in the air triumphantly, a trio of Anbu appear silently behind her, "But I married him first so it was perfectly legal, so there, hahaha!" the Anbu hang their shoulders dejectedly and disappear. Temari mutters "suckers" and folds her arms. "Top that, Shika-kun."

Shikamaru shrugs, "No one else knows that I like the color blue." He says.

"No you dont!" Temari scoffs.

"I do, you just didn't know until now." Shikamaru said.

"Ah, skillfully done my love, and the authorities didn't even try to take you away." Temari says sarcastically and claps.

"Uh . . . well there you have it . . . uh . . . Nara Shikamaru and his wife Nara Temari, who is not a sex adict . . . and this our exclusive interview. Hana signing off."

**Ze End!**


	18. AFTERSHOCK: It's wuv!

**Note: **This was done 1 week after the story finished. One week. Just one. I am a jerk. But obviously this one, far more than the other AFTERSHOCK (which I like a whole lot more, though this has its moments) relies on the sequel being ready. Indeed this is almost a prologue to the sequel . . . anyway . . . yeah. I wish to thank everyone who read, everyone who reviewed, everyone who put up with the wait, everyone who has just stumbled upon this story, read it and is wondering what wait I'm talking about. Now on to the show . . .

**Something Like That . . .**

**AFTERSHOCK! (forgive the all caps, but its just so shocking!)**

**One Year After The Play . . .**

Shikamaru grinned at the group of Genin coming in for the Chuunin exams, "Fresh meat, eh!" Mitarashi Anko sneered, and Shikamaru shrugged.

"I swear they're getting shorter." The fifteen year old said.

"No, you're getting taller." Temari said, and she shoved him forward.

He lost his balance and fell from the wall he'd been sitting on, a trio of young genin saw him falling and shouted, "Look out, he's attacking us! Get him!"

Shikamaru twisted in mid-air and landed on his feet . . . and then was beset by the three genin, they all leapt forward to kick him at once, and he barely managed to leap back up to the wall in time.

Temari however punished the brats with a wave of her fan, "Little miscreants, stay out of grown up conversations!"

"Conversations? You shoved him off a wall!" Anko said, then under her breath whispered "good girl" but Shikamaru heard it.

He scoffed at Temari, "Just because you're eighteen now you think everything's a grown up conversation, forgetting the fact that I'm just fifteen." He said.

"Yeah, well you were grown up even before I was." Temari shot back.

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, Anko coughed and said "I uh . . . I have things to do, so I'll just leave you two alone." She said and dashed off.

Temari stood there, waiting for something and Shikamaru didn't know what. "So . . . what's new?"  
"Besides me becoming a Jounin? Not much." Temari grinned.

"Ah. Well, I knew you could do it." Shikamaru said with a nod.

"Bullshit!" Temari scoffed.

"Yeah, probably. Let's go get something to eat, huh?" Shikamaru said.

"Are you asking me out, Nara Shikamaru?" Temari asked.

"You're eighteen, I'm fifteen, it wouldn't be seemly. We're just friends getting something to eat together . . . we'll talk about work and celebrate your promotion." Shikamaru shrugged.

Temari smirked, gosh he loved it when she smirked-no hated it, he hated it.

They set off together towards the restauraunt district, not really sure where they'd go.

"Does Lee-san still rhyme?" Temari asked suddenly.

"No." Shikamaru sighed. "Now that he's a Jounin, Neji has convinced Lee that his making up rhymes is what's kept him from advancing as well . . . which is probably true."

"No, it's his creepy eyebrows, they're the size of pregnant cows, I think they're getting bigger, dont you?" Temari scoffed.

Shikamaru smiled, "Well that may very well be, but lets not make fun of poor Lee, it's not his fault he was overendowed."

The pair continued their walk and Temari said "Okay fine, Lee's alright, maybe those brows'll help him win his next fight, damn there sure is a crowd."

Shikamaru smiled, it was too bad the Talent Troop hadn't gotten back together to do another act, but everyone got promoted after that and . . . well, Chuunin didn't really get a lot of opportunities to do stuff like that.

Now Temari was a Jounin . . . private little walks like this wouldn't last them forever. Sooner or later she'd meet a guy her age and fall in love and that'd be that.

He looked at the ground as they walked, "Hey Temari, I'm curious, would you be terribly furious if I asked you what you're doing here?"

"I'm a go between as you know, I'd be fired if I didn't show, if you don't like it go kiss one of your deer." The blonde woman said.

"I mean here with me." Shikamaru said, giving up on the rhyming. "You're a Jounin but you can do more, you can be a captain of the Anbu or something like that . . . a go-between is a troublesome job."

Temari looked annoyed. "If you don't already know . . ." She grumbled.

They walked on in silence, trying to avoid making eye contact when suddenly "Shikamaru! Temari-san! Hey!" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs! "Who do you think it is?"

The ninja teens slowed their pace and turned, Shikamaru's confusion was swept away by a most pleasant surprise!

"Hey! If it isn't Naruto!" Shikamaru exclaimed happily.

**Two Years After The Play . . .**

"Happy birthday, Shikamaru!" Someone screamed.

Shikamaru sat up quickly, hit his head against the screamer, fell back and hit his head against the wall.

"Son of a . . . ugh!" The sixteen year old groaned.

"Wake up!" Naruto cried.

"How'd you get into my house?" Shikamaru demanded.

"Your dad let me in. Turns out he isn't susceptible to sexy jutsu, but your mom is."

"You did _what_ to my mom?" Shikamaru demanded.

"No, no, did it to your dad, your mom is just screaming at him for staring instead of slamming the door in my face, I snuck up here while they were arguing."

Shikamaru frowned. He had a really weird friend. He could hear several voices downstairs, "You turned into a woman and flashed my dad . . . because . . ."

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." Naruto said, he scratched his chin, "sounds like Sakura-chan is sorting things out. She's good like that, y'know?"

And no sooner had Naruto said that then Shikamaru's door burst open and his parents, Sakura, and of all people Temari came in.

"See Temari? I told you he'd be awake!" Naruto said, pointing at Shikamaru.

"_You_ woke me up!" Shikamaru complained, "And what's _she_ doing here?"

Boy did that not come out the way he'd wanted it to! He'd made it sound like he was annoyed to see her instead of pleased.

Temari glared at him, "It just so happens that my _fantastic_ work as a go-between has finally led to a promotion, I thought you'd want to know, since you thought I was underranked."

"And you are." Shikamaru said nervously, not wanting the woman to explode.

And what a woman, Temari was nineteen now and becoming more and more . . . adult. Maybe it was just that he'd known her so long, or maybe it was really just that _he_ was getting older and becoming aware of things his keen eyes might have missed before . . .

"So you came all this way to tell me about your promotion?" Shikamaru asked, Suna was a three day's track away from Konoha after all.

The nineteen year old-and it occured to Shikamaru that in another year they wouldnt been teenagers together anymore-smirked, damn he loved it when she smirked-no! No! He hated it, hated it, that's right!

Anyway she smirked and said "I came all this way to _begin_ my new job, I'm the Suna ambassador for Konoha now . . . and I've reqested and been granted _you_ as my escort, body guard, and tour guide." Temari said, "subtly" shoving Naruto away and sitting down on Shikamaru's bed. "Your duty kicks off tonight, you'll be showing me the most romantic restauraunt in this little village, then we'll go there together, and celebrate my promotion, as well as your coming of age."

"I'm just sixteen."

"But that's not what we'll tell the police, right?" Temari winked.

"Should we just leave you two?" Naruto asked.

"Gaara thinks I just want a vacation, so he'll probably reassign me eventually, but for now I'm here . . . and since I'm here we might as well spend some time together." She smiled.

"Yeah . . . I guess." Shikamaru said, scratching the back of his head.

"Uh . . . yeah we're gonna go, believe it." Naruto decided and herded the others out of the room. Shikamaru's mother began screaming about being told what to do in her own house, but Shikamaru ignored her and looked at Temari.

To his surprise she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.

They parted and she looked into his eyes, hers clearly betraying her interest.

And Shikamaru, no longer fourteen, was finally up to the challenge.

"How was that?" Temari whispered.

"Like I always say . . . you can do better." Shikamaru said, adopting his own smirk now.

"Oh yes I can." Temari said, moving in closer to him when suddenly Naruto's head poked in to the room.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt you guys, I can see you're like, about to do it or something," Naruto began,

"Naruto!" Sakura groaned from the hallway.

"Blast it, she was _this_ close to making my son a man, and then they'd get married and he'd finally show some enthusiasm for something!" Shikamaru's mother complained.

"Yeah, yeah, believe it." Naruto waved a hand to silence them, "Anyway Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji wanted to throw a party for you so we'd better get going."

"Ino would have understood being late if it were so that Shikamaru and Temari-san could--" Sakura began, coming out of hiding and hitting Naruto in the head, but Temari spoke up.

"Okay, Shika-kun is coming." Temari said.

"Shika-kun?" Shikamaru blinked.

"No, no, you two go ahead and consumate your relationship!" Sakura cried.

Shikamaru stared at her. "You're a bigger pervert than Naruto." He decided.

**Three Years After The Play . . .**

"It's real and official." Shikamaru said offhandedly as Temari looked at the small item in the box he'd given her on this, her twentieth birthday.

She realized what it was and shut it up tight, though the urge to look at it again was coming over her.

Temari stared in awe at the little box in her hands. Something so small held something so incredibly major . . . she almost couldnt believe it.

Gaara wouldn't be happy . . . he didn't have to know! No, no of course he did . . . but how would she tell him? Or Kankuro for that matter.

"It's no big deal . . . if you don't want it." Shikamaru said. "But say something, don't be so troublesome."

She opened Shikamaru's box again, just to look at the little item inside, to make sure it wasn't her imagination, that it really was in there.

She took a deep breath, "You're just a kid, you can't give me one of these." She said.

"Look if you dont want it I might be able to get my money back." Shikamaru said, his shoulders slumping a bit.

Temari hid the box in a pocket, "No you already gave it to me, you can't take it back!" She said, "Are you serious though? I mean . . . you want me to-"

"Look Temari, we've been together a long time, right? I mean as friends and . . . well I'm running out of excuses, running out of lies. They're not doing any good anyway, Naruto's such a loud mouth everyone knows what we are to each other. So we might as well make it official." He put his hands in his pockets, "Look, if you don't want to that's fine too. I can think up a few more lies, a few more good excuses to spend time with you . . . but it's getting troublesome."

Temari stared at the box again, taking it from her pocket and opening it up just a crack to see what was inside. It made her heart stop, "Shikamaru . . . I . . ."

"Are you going to wear it or not?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes!" Temari snapped, then frowned at herself, "I mean no . . . no I mean yes but I . . . well yes I will but . . . it's complicated."

Shikamaru looked at her, "It's as simple as this: Can you see yourself being happy with this . . . if it makes you happy what else matters?" Shikamaru sighed, "I mean you practically live here anyway."

It was true, Temari even had a small house in the leaf village given to her graciously by the Hokage since an ambassador shouldn't sleep in a box in an alley . . . or in her body guard/tour guide's bed for that matter. It, like almost everything between Temari and Shikamaru, was unseemly.

The young sand kunoichi looked at her secret love . . . well it wasn't such a secret was it? Shikamaru had to know the depths of her feelings for him, the entire village certainly liked to whisper about it.

Why did the Suna ambassador still need a tour guide after almost a year in the village? Why did she keep turning down more able bodied guards?

Shikamaru was brilliant, and Temari wasn't trying to keep her feelings a secret from him.

But she hadn't expected this. Not from him, not now. He hadn't even turned seventeen yet-though he would soon-and here he was . . . did he really mean this the way she was interpreting it?

Maybe this was a misunderstanding, it was her birthday after all, maybe this was a birthday present.

She felt her cheeks burning, she hated it when he made her blush! "Shika-kun . . . I'll wear it . . . but you can't just throw it into my lap and expect me to accept it." She handed him the box, "I know you're lazy but there is a proper way to do this and I'd like you to do it properly."

"Do I have to? You know waht this is, you know what it means." Shikamaru said.

"If you don't want Kamatari to bite your ear off, you'll do it properly." Temari said simply.

Shikamaru groaned, "All right."

He got down on one knee, his cheeks were turning red and he cleared his throat, "Temari I-" he began but stopped suddenly as someone came running towards them!

"Shikamaru! Temari-san! Hey!" Ino screamed.

Temari didn't hate Ino. But she wanted her to die right then.

Wanted her to stop breathing, just stop being, go away, away, die!

Shikamaru froze as surely as if he'd been trapped with his own jutsu, Ino reached them and bent over panting and holding her stomach.

She held up a hand in the universal gesture for "please kill me for interrupting you".

It _may_ have been a gesture to mean "just a second, let me catch my breath" but Temari was very tempted to believe instead that it was the "please kill me" gesture.

Shikamaru stood up and dropped the box in Temari's lap, "Wh-what is it Ino?" He demanded.

Ino looked up, still gasping for air, "Hhhh-ho! Hokage! Hokage wahhhnts-" Ino gasped and held her side.

"What does the old bat want?" Temari demanded angrily, "Do you have any idea what you've just interrupted?"  
Ino looked surprised, "No . . . what were you two doing?"  
"Nothing!" Temari screamed, "Mind your own business, deliver your message and then leave. Leave or so help me I'll-"

Shikamaru was smirking at her as he put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She blushed furiously and turned away. "Just kidding." She grunted.

Ino gasped for air a few seconds more then finally said "Temari-san, Shikamaru, I've got great news! Great news indeed, the Hokage, lady Tsunade has summoned us to her office."

"Us? The three of us?" Shikamaru asked.

"Us . . . as in all of us. The entire Yamanaka talent troop." Ino said with a grin, "I hope you can remember how to rhyme, because we're about to perform a play that'll go down in history! The Kazekage and the Hokage need us and our special talents!"

Temari felt deflated. Ino had interrupted her and Shikamaru to tell her that she had to do another stupid play? And worse she was ordered to do it by the Hokage _and _her brother, Gaara, the Kazekage.

Ino ran off without another word, presumably to summon more members of the talent troop. Shikamaru turned back to Temari but she held up a hand. "No . . . let's wait until after this new mission is accomplished . . . then we'll deal with _this_."

Shikamaru nodded and offered her his hand.

It was terribly unlike him, usually she had to snatch it or steal it, but it was nice to have it freely given just once.

And so together they walked hand in hand.

The talent troop was back together, and about to be sent on a mission by the Hokage and th Kazekage . . . probably it'd be humiliating or extremely dangerous . . . oh well. Things just didn't seem all that serious right enow. To Temari the item contained in the little box Shikamaru had given her, the things it meant the changes it would bring about . . . that was the most serious thing in the world, nothing else came close.

Not right now anyway.

**Ze End!**

but also **More to Come** in . . . **Nothing Like That! (Oh heavens what have I gotten myself into?)**

**From GrimmZ with Love (or something similar but less creepy)** Ah . . . at last it is finished. I really do like the other aftershock better, but this one has its moments . . . yes the whole reason I put this up was to let you all know that inbetween this story and the sequel Naruto came back and used the sexy jutsu on Shikaku . . . otherwise this is really a bit . . . cuter than I'm used to. But thank you all again, I hope to see you in the sequel. To those who rhyme, continue to do so and the world will be a far more poetic place.


End file.
